Car Stuff. in Whey and Sonic Screwdrivers.

It’s not that I don’t want to take care of Clarissa Clutch, it’s that I don’t want to get gouged.

So sometime after 70k miles, I saw the Check Engine light come on. That little yellow abomination, I just assumed it was some Routine Maintenance thing that was designed to MAKE ME PAY MONIES. I mean, have you read what those “maintenance” things are? I’m not saying it’s bad to keep up on your car, but damn, if you followed every single “checkpoint”, it would cost a chunk of change. I bought this car new and it shouldn’t require anything other than an oil change.

So, I live in the Northeast, and it’s been really fucking cold lately. I was driving to Evan/Elissa’s when I was unable to dispense windshield washer fluid. (Whether it froze or was empty I don’t know, I filled it immediately when I got home.) In other words, the roads were salty and I COULD NOT SEE SHIT through my windshield. So, when I got to his place. I put some snow on my windshield. A short time later, I noticed a crack on my windshield. Cue me facepalming.

You see, I’ve had my windshield replaced before. I was driving on (interstate) 80 and a rock came off a truck in front of me. I think he was actually in the lane over, so shush shit about following distance; I keep such a good following distance that the people behind me get pissed off even when I’m going 75/80 mph. AS WELL, I’ve had the right porthole replaced. It’s the little window the appears on the passenger side between the window and the windshield. It’s a little strange, as it’s not like you can see shit through such a tiny space.

I just kind of groaned at the thought of more glass replace.

I mean, I knew of how much it would cost. It’s actually better than the average mechanical repair. But when that rock hit the windshield, it was a small spider. And, because of social anxiety, I put off doing anything about it. And it became a big spider. So, because phones scare me, I went to a local dealer. The first thing the lady on the floor said was, “Did you call ahead?”

It’s something that rang in my head.

She said how there’s no way they could just repair such a spider, and that the windshield would need to be replaced. So, I waited a week for the windshield to be ordered (from apparently japan at the time; I drive a 2008 Honda Fit; and the windshield replacement was uhhhhhhh if you’re morbidly curious I could check me logs, I would guess 2011; Oh man, I’ve gotten far too used to babbling in hashtags on tumblr.)

So I had this crack (in my windshield) and I knew I had to have it taken care of immediately before it got worse. Within a week (that’s like record time for me) I called a local dealer and explained my situation. In the most awkward way possible, or so I felt. She said they can’t fix cracks and I would need a new windshield. I still have a doubt in my head, because I know there are businesses that specialize in this shit. But the crack was very clearly all the way through the windshield. Meeeehhhh “don’t think about it”

So a windshield was ordered, and I came in for it to be done. I figured while I was there, I’d have them deal with the check engine light. I’d only gone a thousand miles with it on. (SHUT UP, THAT’S ONLY THREE TANKS OF GAS.) I really thought it was nothing.

I was told it was an oxygen sensor (whatever that is), and that I needed four new tires, my battery was dying, and my alignment was off.

Okay.

Don’t know what the fuck an oxygen sensor is, despite my google-fu, but if the dealer fucks me over anywhere other than the wallet, they’re not going to get business in terms of new car sales.

I kind of knew I needed new tires. I was told last oil change I should probably get new tires. This was shortly before a VERY icy winter. Holy shit, man, I can’t hold traction to save my life. (It’s a phrase; I’m still alive.)

At almost 7 years and 71,000 miles, I still had my original battery. My google-fu tells me I was pushing my lack. Still, despite this cold weather, Clarissa has started every single time. The dealer managed to produce a graph indicating that Clarissa’s battery was not able to maintain a maximal charge. Which meant I couldn’t just hold off “until next winter.”

Now. Alignment? I can still cruise at 75 mph on the interstate, take my hands off the wheel, and still drive straight for a while. This is why dealers have that reputation; quit trying to sell me shit.

Speaking of selling me shit, the (very nice) guy at the dealer kept saying he could give me a good deal on tires. Instead, I went to a local place where I’ve gotten all of my patchwork done.

You know what I like about my local shoppe? I’m never fucking pressured to buy anything. I walked in and stumbled about needing four new tires. He took one look at my car, punched some stuff into the computer, and printed out an estimate on the spot. It beat the dealer’s by a good margin, and I knew their labor was reasonable. They also didn’t charge me for installing a battery.

(Half the reason I put off installing a battery is it’s something I could do myself. But IT’S REALLY COLD OUT. I’d be unsure of myself through the process, whereas they could pop it in pretty fast.)

DON’T TRY TO SELL ME SHIT.

Got my tires done, and a new battery, and felt good about myself.

Went in this morning to do the oxygen sensor McFuckery. I still have confidence in my car, as it’s the first “major repair” at only 70k. But like god damn, it cost more than either the tires or the windshield.

All put together, it’s costing a chunk of change I wasn’t planning of spending. I can reallocate funds, but um.

At least I have peace of mind with four new tires and a new battery. I had the brakes checked, as they’re the original brakes, too. Apparently, they’re fine. Definitely by 100,000 miles, I’ll have them replaced.

It’s funny. When my tires were balding, I was wary of losing traction. And now that I have four BRAND NEW TIRES, I’m just as wary of any road obstacles, as I don’t want to have some needless flat tire ruining the life of these tires.

Did I say all I needed to say? I don’t even remember. It was stressful as hell knowing I’d have to pay for all this shit. It really ruined my day to find out the check engine light was Something rather than some Routine Maintenance thing. (I would have paid for maintenance, even if it’s Some Money, but it’s still cheaper than a Repair.) And now that all the Stuff is done, it’s a massive load off my mind that Clarissa will be okay. Now I just need to deal with the monies and stuff. Joy.

Fuck being concise.