Same shit, different fucking day. in Since OD is shutting down....

I honestly feel like I’m just going to break. From working so much, homework, trying to be there for my niece and now my ‘friend’ blowing me off after I paid him to hook up my stereo, I’m so fucking close to my breaking point. I paid him $70 last weekend to hook everything up but he just hooked up my deck and now I waited all day yesterday for him to let me know when he was going to come over to do my amp and subs and he now won’t answer my messages! I am so angry that I’m about to throw up! I can’t even put into words how pissed I am. This kid knows how badly I’ve been ripped off when it comes to cars and now to know that he’s fucked me over too, it makes me realize just how alone I really am. I honestly have nobody. My brother doesn’t care either as i called him asking him very nicely if he would help me out but of course he won’t so I let him know I will not be attending his daughter’s birthday party this weekend. I know that’s not fair to her whatsoever but it’s not fair to me that I have to have a one-sided relationship with her Dad either. Plus, I know if I show up there, I will end up hitting him and going to jail. I can’t be around him anymore and I’m probably going to change my number so he can’t contact me anymore and some other people that don’t need to have my number anymore either because they’ve proven to blow me off when I need them but get pissed if I don’t answer when they try to reach me.

I’m just in a really pissed off mood right now and just don’t give a fuck about anything. I have homework that I need to get done but don’t feel like getting it done. I am honestly just so fucking sick of everything that I could fucking scream! I’m also pissed that because it’s a holiday which is what’s hindering me from getting my free standing punching bag as it came Friday but I was at work so now I’m going to have to wait until tomorrow and I’m sure it will come while I’m either at school or work so I’ll have to continue waiting for it. I also ordered a treadmill that is supposed to be here Thursday and it will probably come while I’m gone so who knows when I’ll get that either. OMG I’m in a such a bad mood that I can’t fucking stand myself! I really didn’t expect to be this upset on my day off but I am. I’m so fucking sick of having no one to count on. There’s no such thing as a friend. I’ve always had to pay everyone for help and it’s bullshit I paid him so much money just for him to do only half the job and now he’s decided to not even bother answering my Facebook message! What a fucking asshole!

I wish I could just run away. Just pack up my shit and get the fuck out of here. I just feel so angry and overwhelmed with everything. I’m so tired of working as hard as I do and I’m still not where I’d like to be. I feel overwhelmed from taking on yet another car loan and this one is for 2 years. I feel frustrated because I have to work as much as I do to make my bills because I don’t have any help. I’m annoyed that I don’t have the time or motivation to lose weight.

Fuck it. Time for a movie.