it's a free country in poetry

If you have an erection lasting more than four hours,
consider using it as a sun-dial.
Maybe as a performance art kind of thing.

If you have an erection lasting more than four hours,
at least you have somewhere to put your donuts.

If you have an erection lasting more than four hours,
maybe you’re just having tantric sex
with an invisible person.
How do you know?
How can you really know?

If you have an erection lasting more than four hours,
at least you’re in a bathtub on the beach at sunset
holding hands with your wife in her own separate tub
so you can hide your hard-on in the water.
That’s something.
That has to count for something.

If you have an erection lasting more than four hours,
imagine if you had that erection on a spacecraft
rocketing away from the Earth at near-light speeds!
From our viewpoint on Earth,
your erection will seem as though it lasted for years.
That’s how the theory of relativity
would effect your four-hour-or-more erection.

If you have an erection lasting more than four hours,
consider it a more-than-fair punishment
where you’re living in a world
where governments crack down on women’s sexuality
denying them control of their own bodies and fates
where poor people desperately need real medicine
for real diseases killing them every day
where science could have gone into clean energy development
where science could have gone into decoding our very DNA
where science could have explored the depths of the ocean
but in spite of a million better things that could have been done
instead we spent time getting you an erection
when you really shouldn’t be able to get an erection anymore
and it’s even covered by your goddamned health insurance
for some reason
so maybe you should accept this as a fair punishment
so maybe you should bend over as far as you can
to see if you can take that four-hour erection
and choke on it.

Or at least try and use it as a sun-dial
it’s a free country
they say it’s a free country
they like to say that it’s a free country.