xmas eve service, new yr's dinner. dr. davis, alexis, rape. dr. dumke. dwc shows, kate. movies. *E* in The Wonderland Years: 2015. Done.

so for for past 3 yrs. i’vegone to xmas eve service at my grandparents’ church w/ my grandfather, parents and sister. it’s always nice. I don’t feel like we’re being told what to believe we’re being told a story. this yr the leader guy [pastor? priest? minister?] wasn’t the same as last yr’s. I liked him enough he was v. animated and theatrical. so usually they sing the hallelujah chorus but this yr they sang. leonard Cohen’s ‘hallelujah’. I love that song. I remember the first time I heard it and every time since has been good a good memory. this cover had different lyrics which were changed to fit the story of mary and joseph. I did that song as a duet w/ Pat once. the xmas eve service was good everyone was really nice. i didn’t know anyone aside from my own family and this oe family but they all seemed quite nice. over the holidays it was either thanksgiving or some night between then and xmas eve my sister and I watched planes trains and automobiles on tv. i’d seen it once before I like it. oh and on cable recently love actually was on. it’s a v. sweet movie long one. I didn’t watch all of it.

on the holidays note like I put my sister and I went to dinner new yr’s eve. my parents were at their run at wash park. they’ve been going for the past. at least the oast 3 yrs. I was at the house by myself i’d just had a bit of jameson. and my sister calls and she asks if I want to go to dinner and I do esp. bc she’s paying. I get ready and we go to a thai place [which until recently I always referred to as a Vietnamese place]. it’s nice quiet. I don’t like going to like, dinner or the store on the holidays and it’s not cause of the commercialism.

I don’t like xmas. 1: 10 yrs. ago my dad was hit by a drunk driver xmas eve and B: 2 yrs. ago this dec. 22nd I was. um. sexually..........hurt.

um. so like I said I told dr. davis i’d been raped. we were talking about my ptsd and she asked what I had it from and I told her that. like yeah a few people know but until recently i’d never actually verbalised it in a dr’s office. her reaction was exactly what i’d hoped for and exactly what I wanted. alexis knows it came up in conversation. the lady from the ptsd hotline I told, Mandi, had the reaction I wanted and what I hoped for. i’ll probably call them again some day when i’m at my mom’s. their hrs. are from 9 a.m. - 11 p.m. they’re in CO, so. [I mean I can cakk when i’m at my house but I don’t want to]. it’s a lot to tell someone.

like I said I’ve only met w/ dr. dumke once. I know her through my mom. we met on this past tues. the...........3rd. our next meeting is the 17th and same for next month. we haven’t gotten to april yet. we talked about what happened at my last house. I don’t like the lady based on what she said and that she didn’t care. the dr. said I have a right to not like her.

I like dr. davis but at some point i’ll stop seeing her. she’s not what i’m looking for. I like her better for her personality then what she does. and that’s what makes it so hard. is I want to keep seeing her as I like her as a person [so far]. but that’s not really how it works. see this is why I don’t get to know people. you meet someone you like and either you leave them or they leave you. [this is a residual effect of Pat’s passing].

um so. like I said my mom’s choir the DWC had 2 shows. one was in oct. and the other was 2 weekends ago. the one in oct. they did broadway. w/ a symphony and 2 actresses one whom voiced Meg in Disney’s Hercules the other was Debbie.........someone. she was in ‘miss spectacular’ which evidently is a show. or, was a show. she made me nervous. the show was good. and the one they did 2 weekends ago also. featured b’way. and space. [well ok one bowie song

*which my sister left prior to]. they did a song from that show about finnian, ‘time warp, ‘no one is alone’, ‘drops of jupitor’. a mashup of ‘what a wonderful world’ and ‘over the rainbow’. and some others which I don’t remember right now. yeah it was good. I more listened to it than watched as my hearing’s starting to, 30% of it. still have most of it. I recently read that in your 20’s your hearing declines. I’ve also had bouts of tmj [bad, tmj] which has effect that. I haven’t had any bad ones recently but it’s still there. and it’s not so much the pain that bothers me as the vertigo when it gets bad. yeah but I liked the show.

um so other then on new yr’s the only time I see kate [my sister] is when she stops by my mom’s. she seems to be doing ok we’ve not talked much.

yeah so my mom and I’ve seen 2 movies. the 1st was the last installment of ‘night at the museum’. it was ok. the end was better than the whole movie. rebel Wilson was in it she was the best part. I thought. she’s so cool. and we also saw ‘into the woods’ which I liked. it’s been awhile since I’ve seen a musical in movie form. [when I say ‘seen’ I mean in the cinema. I watch dvds I see movies]. I like fairy tales. a lot.

Last updated April 10, 2015