Entry 15-01.31.31 in Book Two: The Fifteenth Year of the Third Millennium of the Common Era

It is 3am here. My alarm will go off to wake me in approximately two hours, at which time I will write a response to an Essay Exam, grab coffee, watch a 4 hour lecture, answer 66 more multiple choice questions, watch another 4 hour lecture, answer another 66 multiple choice questions… and then try to decide if I can/should continue from there or if that is enough for one Saturday. The funny thing is… that plan? It will be accomplished. The questions and the videos… those aren’t as bothersome as one might expect. Oh, the videos are a nightmare, I assure you. But that is because they feel ridiculously slow and impersonal. But… I have to run through all of that so I can get to the point where I can start building my own study materials. Oh yes. That is the goal. Work through these professional examples, get all of the certified assistance… but (LORD PLEASE) if I can get caught up and back on schedule for next week… I can start building study materials. THAT will put my mind at ease. Instead of a constant barrage of Videos and Questions… I’ll be able to just sit and create flash cards, and outlines, and write down the rules and concepts I need. I’ll be able to take control again… which I imagine will have a very calming, perhaps even soporific effect on me. I just need to get there.

Perhaps you are wondering why I am not working on those things now. Why am I writing here at 3 in the morning instead of working on that? A number of reasons. Part of me still desperately hopes that if I can bleed out enough words here, I may yet have salvation of a few moments sleep before my alarm goes off. Perhaps, I just feel like my brain could use the distraction. Or maybe it is because I’m worried about another Essay Review Comment Section. Another way of seeing “Yes, you know what you need to; but we’re arbitrary ass holes and essay FORMAT is more important than essay CONTENT even though this is a substantive legal exam.” Whatever the issue preventing me from beginning my study day at three in the morning… it exists. And so for my last entry of January… I’ll close with a silly little survey.

(1) Who are you?
A 30 year old American
(2) What is your biggest goal for this year?
At present, pass the bar exam. Then get a job. Then get my wedding photographs. Then save my marriage.
(3) Where do you want to be in 5 years?
Working in a County Attorney’s Office in Iowa with a nice house and at least one child
(4) What stage of life are you in right now?
The ultimate “time to become an adult” moment
(5) How is your relationship with your parents?
I’d say extraordinarily good. Of course, I’ll always be just a little at ends with my father but that is because we both love one another and recognize we are so similar to one another.
(6) Will you miss them when they are gone?
Yes, I think about it often. Dad’s passing won’t be so hard because he’s been preparing us for it since we were tiny… but Mom’s will be devastating.
(7) What did you want to be when you grew up?
I always said that I wanted to either be an actor or a lawyer. There is even a hand drawn/hand written book from when I was 6 that has those words (spelled terribly wrong)
(8) Who have you hugged today?
My wife is having a tough reaction to trying to withdraw from a Rx today, so hugs her way when I could
(9) Who has done something today to show they care about you?
My mom sent another “Good Luck, You Can Do It” card. That makes two in two weeks.
(10) Do you have a lot to learn?
I’m impossible… until there is no more knowledge left to gain, I will always say that I have a lot to learn
(11) If you could learn how to do three things just by wishing and not by working what would they be?
Understand every language, write best selling novels, Relieve people’s emotional/mental/physical/spiritual pain
(12) What 3 things do you want to do before you die?
Have a Honeymoon; Own a house with a large yard; Make a Difference
(13) Is there a cause you believe in more than any other cause?
A few, of course. I’m big into Mental Health and Disability Advocacy; ASPCA; and Education
(14)
What does each decade make you think of:
The 19..
50’s: Bee Bop and Americana
60’s: The original conflict of Yuppies v. Hippies
70’s: G.D. hippies! Yes, it is super important to think critically, but you’re abusing the privilege.
80’s: The eventual back lash. Peace, Love, Drugs collapsed into Profit, Sex, Drugs
90’s: Whole new worlds trying to discover themselves; discovering how diverse a single culture could become
2000: A nation divided, a world torn asunder. No faith in governments, banks, corporations… looking for leaders but afraid to lead.
2010s: If we pretend the problems aren’t catastrophic, maybe it’ll all just go away
(15) If you could say any sentence to the current leader of your country what would it be?
Burn down the party politics and tell anyone that will listen: our government will stop quarreling over trivialities and start focusing on solutions, people, and leading the world into a new and unknown future.

(16) Word association 
What is the first word that comes to mind when you see the word:
Air: Breathe
Meat: Food
Different: Flavors
Pink: Clothing
Deserve: Honor
White: Snow
Elvis: Costello
Magic: Powers
Heart: Organ
Clash: Fight
Pulp:No thank you

(17) 
If you could meet any person in the world who is dead who would you want it to be?
Robin Williams
(18) What if you could meet anyone who is alive?
Gary Oldman
(19) Is there a movie that you love so much you could watch it everyday?
Too many, frankly. Grosse Pointe Blank, Hero, almost everything in my collection really.