Red Carpet: What the Oscars is really all about in Thoughts On...

I used the msn.com red carpet pictures if you want to follow along.

Jennifer Lopez – why do these women continue to wear dresses the same color as their skin tone? If you want to go naked, go naked. In a different color that dress would have been okay.

Lupita Nyong’o – that dress is 100 shades of gorgeous. As is she.

Scarlett Johansson – That dress might have been okay if she didn’t have that seaweed choke collar on. I am not a fan of the slick backed pompadour look.

Emma Stone – That is an old lady dress for an old lady who is nearly blind and cannot tell that that color is like a bowl of glittery pea soup.

Reese Witherspoon – Her dress is like a great nod to Audrey Hepburn. Classy and classic. Her hair could have been better though.

Dakota Johnson – Someone needs to get her some gravy fries pronto! She has no boobs and that dress needs boobs. Her clutch looks like a pencil case.

Zoe Saldana – Ladies, this is how you wear a beige/nude dress. Have the proper skin tone!

Julianne Moore – Did she say, “How can we make me look whiter?” I don’t understand the bands of whatever the hell that is supposed to be. Rocks? Clam shells?

Jessica Chastain – Finally she wore a color that makes her look put together! That dress is beautiful!

Jennifer Hudson – Lovely use of yellow. Definite bright spot on the carpet.

Jennifer Anniston – I love her, but I don’t love this dress. I would have loved to see her in a darker color.

Lady Gaga – Dear sweet Gaga. That dress is terrible and the red gloves? I don’t understand that at all.

Gwyneth Paltrow – I feel like she wants to be Barbie.

Crissy Teigen – So much fabric for a dress that covers so little

Nicole Kidman – Is that a gold holographic type dress with a red sash? Either way it is ugly as hell.

Sienna Miller – I rather liked this dress. Maybe not for the Oscars, but I still like it.

Kerry Washington – Gorgeous dress, but every time I see her in it, I see muffin top boob.

Naomi Watts – is she wearing a tube top?

Side Note: Did all these women run out of time to get their hair done?

Keira Knightley – I love that she is not trying to flaunt her bump. I don’t love this dress. I do love her hair though.

Jenna Dewan – This is a great white dress.

America Ferrera – one of my most favorite dresses of the night. Absolutely gorgeous.

Margo Robbie – It looks too big and too Meryl Streep

Rita Ora – I assume she cannot bend over, sit or breathe in this dress. I like the color, I don’t like the train.

Anna Faris – great dress, wrong person in it. Pay attention to your fairness women!

Solange Knowles – completely opposite of her sister, she covers everything up from head to toe! Does she suffer from vampirism?

Cate Blanchett – Great simple black dress, but maybe not for the Oscars and definitely not with that statement necklace.

Rene Russo – Are those fitbits on her writst?

Patricia Arquette – Lovely and age appropriate dress, however she looks like she would rather be in sweats and a flannel.

Faith Hill – She has a body that could rock a better dress. She also seems to have a face that is set in stone.

Octavia Spencer – Gorgeous color. But she does not look happy in that dress.

Rosamund Pike – I really like this dress. I don’t’ understand how she can possibly walk and keep those shoes on her feet.

Anna Kendrick – I love the color and that is about all.

Felicity Jones – Looks as though she is Teresa, and is trying on Barbie’s Holiday Dress.

Jamie Chung – I feel like I should not like this dress, but I do.

Bradley Cooper – a hot man in a tux.

Marion Cotillard – Simple, classic, gorgeous

Laura Dern – Looks like a chain mail dress.

Meryl Streep – I can’t tell if that is a long skirt or some slamming wide leg pants, either way looks comfortable

Robin Roberts – I think this is the dress of the night for me. It is gorgeous!

Sophie Hunter aka soon to be Mrs. Cumberbatch – I don’t think she is wearing underpants.

Benedict Cumberbatch – White tuxedo coats make men look like cater waiters.

Cheryl Hines – I think her dress was made out of Laura Derns leftovers.

Lara Spencer – this dress looked better on television than in the stills.

Gina Rodriguez – Great dress, nice color, but she could have gone with something a little younger.

Eddie Redmayne – The midnight blue tuxedo…okay

Kelly Rippa – that is too much dress for her.

Behati Prinsloo – It looks as though someone knit a dress out of novelty yarn and had different dye lots.

Karolina Kurkova – she looks pissed about having to wear a bed sheet tied around her ass.

Jared Leto – you keep dancing to the beat of your own drum. I love that he owns his weird ass style.

Carmen Ejogo – I don’t know who she is, but I feel like she needs a thicker strap on that slip she is wearing.

Michael Keaton – it is hard to judge men when they pretty much all wear the same thing. So I will just say that he is hot.

Zendaya – I think if she were too move her arms at all, that dress would fall right off of her.

David Oyelowo – I don’t recall ever seeing someone wear a red tuxedo. You crazy Brits!

Lorelei Linklater – She is definitely in her defiant goth stage of life.

Ansel Elgort – there are so many things that drive me crazy about this little boy. Hand in pocket & crooked bow tie don’t even scrape the ice.

Miles Teller’s Girlfriend – Boobs. And if you look closely, his jacket sleeves are too short.

Tim McWho? – Tim McGraw must have gone on a few visits with Face – I mean Faith to the Botox specialist.

Matt McGorry – His jacket is brocade. That is all

Joanna Newsome – I feel like Andy Samberg made that dress as a joke.

Michelle Schumacher – Gorgeous dress, she should have told her hubby JK Simmons to leave the hat in the car.

Will i Am – I am fairly certain he came straight from refereeing the bellhop boy classic.

Adrien Brody – looks like a total douche

Kevin Hart – he is short.

Viola Davis – It looks like someone just learning to sew put that dress together on the bottom and then the teacher was like, “Let me finish it!”

Kelly Preston – She should talk to Dakota Johnson about eating to fill out a dress.

Melanie Griffith – She has the body her daughter needs.

Paige Butcher – Gorgeous color, but she should have requested the extra fabric just be used for the next Taylor Swift dress.

Questlove – He wins the male category for, “I don’t give a fuck, at least I am comfortable” award.

Luciana Duvall – She went all out in the dress department. Perhaps fearing she may never get to another ceremony?

Chloe Grace Moretz – is she hiding midgets under that dress?

Hannah Bagshawe – I don’t understand the hip caplets, but a gorgeous dress

Stedman Graham – I thought he was exiled off the Oprahverse. Also, he should have told Oprah to go up a size or two on top with that dress.