When you need to go... in Adventures in paradise

I think it’s time for me to turn-in for the night.

I just pissed in a bottle by my bed like a Neandethal because there were like ten of my housemates friends in the loungeroom and I didn’t want to bother having to walk past them, which would have meant actually putting clothes on, and I was like ‘fuck that’ after a huge day at work. I noticed the empty bottle by my bed that I hadn’t thrown out, knew I had to go… and did so. Ergh, what is wrong with me?! Just put the damn pants on and use the bathroom, you know, like a normal person.
Of course, they all left the house to go out like a minute after I finished LOL. So naturally then I went to the bathroom to empty the bottle, because the last thing I need is to wake up in a tired state and think I left a bottle of juice by my bed :P That could be an interesting way to wake myself up.
I was surprised the volume! I pretty much filled a third of a two litre bottle, as much as you needed to read that, but meh. I’m glad I didn’t miss the bottle because there’s no way my dick was fitting in that opening, so just had to aim. But, the perks of being a male, right?
I’m out. Why I felt the need to write about this, I’m not sure.

Geez, in my 11 years of writing, this has to be a new low lol.