Long-lost straight love? in Vulnerability

My Timehop app reminded me of this yesterday, 4 years ago, when I got this random message from a random stranger in regard to Jason, who had pretty much been the straight-crush of my life, even since primary school.

Anyone remember that Open Diary entry where I pretty much hyperventilated and went bat-shit insane when I got this message?

I still never got any answers, four years on now. Or any inkling that this random gay guy was talking about the Jason I know. Especially since I thought he was straighter-than-straight, then have this random queen tell me otherwise.

AND that he had a crush on ME? Like WTF?!

I understand it was probably all codswallop. I mean, I’d have to be dreaming, right?
I’ve never had any proof of it, or any indication from Jason what he could’ve been even slightly interested in me, even back in the days where we did actually hang out sometime when he lived in Brisbane. And how did he know this random guy?
I haven’t heard from the random guy since, nor do I know what’s happened in either of their lives. I know Jason moved away up north to earn money in the mines, but I know his passion was always in barbering/hairdressing, but he decided to choose fiscal responsibility over his lower-paying passion (smart kid). He even did my hair a few times back in the day during his training, which I certainly never complained about.
Man, those were the days…

He’s pretty much always had a girlfriend though, over the years. And he’s always going on about how great breasts are and how beautiful women are, at least via his Instagram.
So where the hell did that above message come from? Totally left of field and out of nowhere, which left me gaping at the screen in disbelief. There’s no other Jason’s it could’ve been?
I was obsessed with him all throughout school and high-school, even afterwards when I found him by chance on a Myspace search and I hadn’t seen or heard from him in many years. He told me about how a girl gave him head in a movie theatre. Oh how I wished I was her! Haha.
Then when we used to hang out, he told me how he hadn’t had a girlfriend in a while and how sexually frustrated he was. It literally took all my will-power to not knock him to the ground right then and there.

Then, last year, I decided to be brave and send him a Valentine’s Day text. Why the hell not? He’s always known I’m gay and I didn’t think of him as homophobic or anything.
I’m trying to get my old phone to turn on so I can find the message, but it’s being a bitch and shutting down randomly.
Ooo just found it - his response was: “Haha sorry man, Already spoken for!”

How nice was that response? I knew he had a girlfriend. I also knew it wouldn’t take him long. I think he’s still with her.

I just wish I had answers. Something, even. What the story was with Jason and this random gay guy, who obviously thought of him as hot as I did, but mine was more an obsession back in the day. Since then, jason has pretty much covered his body in tattoo’s, even his head. Most of you who read me on Open Diary already know of my past obsession with him, and Aaron (but he’s a complete other story!)
I’ll go through life, never knowing if this was true, or if there was just this unexplained gay/straight love-train that happened to miss both of the stations. Two ships passing in the night. I just wish it was my torpedo into his… well you get the picture :P It’d probably be more like his in mine. I’d learn to adapt.

What a movie that would be.