Making it work in 2014

  • Dec. 27, 2014, 11:34 p.m.
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Simply put, a lot of human interaction comes down to a single question:
Do we feel like making it work?
If the answer is yes, then it will almost certainly work. If the answer is no, it will almost certainly not. The difficulty with the notion of “making it work” is that it’s not a single decision, it’s a constant dedication to improve things. It’s a dedicated effort to review every decision and realize that it is in pursuit of a goal. Sometimes the work is easy. Sometimes it’s hard. Oftentimes, it is only good or bad based on what we decide it is, so says the Emperor Marcus Aurelius. The question is, how does one make something work when one has decided that it can, and the other isn’t sure?
Amber and I had a long talk tonight. She’s unsure about whether we have a viable future. As such, she doesn’t want to keep trying to making things work. The great difficulty is that the single biggest thing that’s missing is her dedication to making things work. I’m so frustrated by the uneven compromises that are being made to try to keep her interested. She’s also frustrated by this. What’s so agonizing is the fact that she admits that, yeah, if she decided to make this work, it would. She’s just unsure about whether or not it should or whether or not it’s worth it.
Most of it hinges on the fact that she can’t trust me. And why? By her own admission not by anything I’ve done in years. It all hinges on the past. It all hinges on things that happened years ago that she won’t let go of. I just don’t know what to do.


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