Hurting in Torridaussity Two

I just got off the phone with my mom and it wasn’t good news. She called to say my grandpa’s girlfriend Helen who has been a surrogate grandma for the last 10 years or so passed away a few hours ago. She had been sick since the Saturday after Christmas and was in the hospital and then came home and went back in Sunday night and now isn’t coming home. I loved her obviously not the same as my grandmother, but she had become a part of my family’s life and was part of my family. Having lost my other grandma (dad’s foster mom, but the only mom and grandma we had) this past summer and the fact that my mom’s dad isn’t all that healthy because of his heart problem, this is too much. It’s his girlfriend that passed. His wife passed away when I was in college in 2001. He loved Helen again not the same as my grandma, but he loved her and I am afraid how this is going to hurt him. She’s part of the reason he’s done so well over the last few years, she kept him happy in a different way than we did. I had been feeling depressed over the last couple of dates because of the whole failed date, the fact that I have let my health slide in a serious way, the fact that I am so broke even when I catch a break something lately has taken that little bit of extra money away. I will be 35 years old in June and feel like I am floundering in my life. Like things are just one step away from completely falling away. Please send me some positive thoughts and prayers. I haven’t told anyway here yet because it’ s too fresh. My social media just states that I am sad. If I am not around as much as I have been this is why.