shake it off in Riverdale

I dont know how someone can be so cold. Oh well I guess. Um well I was kind of depressed before and wanted to stay in but now I really just want to go out. I get nervous going out alone but if I let that stop me I would do nothing ever really. Relying on people is stupid. Fuck most people. Lone wolf forever.

I watched a pretty good movie last night and continued it today. I forget what its called.

I am in an anxious agitated state. I dont know why. I feel nervous and shit and angry. I snapped at this guy on the phone he was a prick anyways and no good for me anyway so I dont care. He just triggered me more. I dont have patience lately for people who annoy hurt or disapoint me. So fuck them. I need to be around people who give a shit. I just dont have no more time for stupid people wasting my time and trying to tear down my worth and manipulate and act dumb. I am tired of the stupid back and forth the argument with me backing down. Its just not worth it. I used to think I was a bitch and all that but now I am just seeing that with the right people I can be a good funny kind person. Its the people in my life that set me off.. I am very in touch with my emotions and when someone crosses a line with me and I just dont have this low self esteem and patience and conceeding manner about me that others seem to have with these types of people. I just feel I have nothing to lose and everything to gain by standing up for myself instead of keeping my mouth shut and letting them walk all over me. Fuck it. No time for that. I want good honest kind funny happy people in my life because thats what I want to be. I dont want to be an asshole. I want to be good. I want to be happy and patient and loving not hateful and sneaky and lying and all that other stupid bullshit. Those types of people really warp your mind and try to get u to be like them or at least convince u that u are like that and they are not when really when u get the distance u realize u are nothing like them. They push u to the edge to be that way. Fuck them and fuck it.

I am all showered dressed and ready to go out in a bit get a drink than get something to eat I think for a bit than come home and watch a movie or something. I am still feeling a bit sick and am kind of tired. And I dont wanna waste a lot of money.

I won a bit of money from some lottery tickets. Yay. So I am going to use that.

I just need to shake off all this stress and anger. Hopefully be around people who dont annoy the shit out of me and make me snap.

Yup thats what I am going to do.