Diabetic worries, someone just tried to break in. in Since OD is shutting down....

So I had my dr appt a few minutes ago and I asked about a new medication called Belique (not sure on the spelling) that is supposed to be really good in assisting diabetics lose weight. I talked to my Dr about it and I have to order it when I see my medication lady on the 12th. I am pretty excited that he was on board with prescribing it and definitely thinks that it would be a big help to me. Honestly, I just want something to help jumpstart me getting the first few pounds off so that I will have more confidence to do the rest. I also believe that it’s been harder to lose weight because since I’m gonna be 30 soon, my metabolism has slowed down so it’s hindered the weight from coming off as fast as it did before.

I just don’t want to find myself dealing with severe complications of diabetes because I fucked around too much while I’m young. My eyes are still in great shape, my teeth are healthy, I feel good about myself other than my weight so I just want to get myself in a good place physically. I haven’t been working out at home because I’ve just been so busy lately with work, my niece, cleaning, and running errands that there’s just not been time for it but I need to make time. I need to make it more of a priority and start getting really serious about this shit. Just the other day I ate a whole box of Star Crunch by myself and felt like a complete failure. Food is my enemy. It’s my outlet when I’m stressed and just want something to make me feel good but I have to get out of that mindset. I can eat healthy for days even weeks at a time but when I don’t see the scale move much, I get discouraged and give up.

Another thing is I wonder if I overdo it. I think when I cheat, I cheat WAY to much but then when I eat healthy, I overdo that as well. I will make sure not to have more than 200 carbs a day and I’m wondering if I’m just not having enough and I also wonder if I had more aggressive work out sessions if that would help because even when I work out, I still don’t do much because I don’t want to get sore and then worry about being tired at work. I just need to start getting back into working out, even at home for 30 minutes a day and if it EVER warms up, I want to get back to the gym. It’s just a crying shame that I pay to go but I’m never there because I’m so afraid of getting sick.

I’m just going to focus on getting back to eating all the right things and watching portion sizes for now. It’s also been ridiculously cold here so that kinda puts a damper on my activity level too. It’s hard to wanna get up and do anything when it’s cold, snowy, and dark outside. Ugh, it’s getting really old and I can’t wait for Spring to get here!!!

Anyways, so Heather and I are still friends on Facebook. I don’t plan on deleting her so unless she deletes me, we can just stay friends. I really don’t care that we aren’t friends anymore and I’m pretty used to losing friends over stupid petty shit like this. She wasn’t that great of a friend anyways because she never answered when I called her but would get upset if I didn’t answer when she called, was never around, didn’t hear from her unless her and her man were fighting and never was able to find a sitter so we could hang out but could always find one when her and her man wanted a date night?! Priorities, right?! And I wasn’t one so I’m totally okay with us not talking anymore.

So yeah, someone tried to break in. I’ve called the police and left a voice mail with my landlord. This is fucking bullshit. I’m now terrified to go to work. It’s bullshit that people would rather steal and commit crimes than get jobs. I was sitting here and heard my back door open and my door knob getting messed with and they messed have heard me get up because by the time I got to the door, they were gone. It’s crazy that they managed to shimmy off my balcony without me hearing a sound! I’m just so pissed that someone was going to come in and steal from me after I’ve worked so fucking hard for what I have! I’m getting renters insurance but it’s still a $500 deductible so if they steal, I’m going to pay dearly to have my shit replaced! Fucking bullshit. The cops came and he went out my back door and looked..he said that he didn’t see any fresh tracks and the sound I heard was probably just my screen door as it’s not latching properly. Maybe he’s right but I know what I heard. So now I’m just sitting here pondering all of this. Ugh, I just don’t know. I know that maybe it could have just been the screen door but it’s hardly even windy today and I know what it sounds like when someone is messing with the door knob. Hmm, I don’t know!

Anyways, so I’ve been eating healthy all day and actually just finished my salad for lunch. I feel pretty good about things today. I’m super happy that things are going okay for me. I will get my financial aid next week and then I can finally pay my car off and not have car payments anymore! Just the thought of knowing I won’t have to pay that makes me smile ear to ear! I can’t believe I won’t have to go make that payment once a week because I’ve had to every week for the past year. It’s gonna be so nice to be able to afford other things and be able to keep food in my house.

I’m getting ready for work. I made my car payment money last night so I don’t have to worry about that which is super nice. I do have to confess that I lied to my dr’s office to avoid paying a $60 co-pay by telling them I was unemployed. I seriously didn’t have enough in my account to pay that and it kills me that I lied because I never lie about anything but I seriously just don’t have the money for that, on top of paying for my prescription to manage my diabetes. I would love to know how they calculate how much you should get charged for your co-pay but I seriously can’t afford $60!

So I’ve decided to wear a long sleeved shirt under my work shirt today and I found my gloves so I’m hoping to be warmer today. I’m so fucking sick of it being so fucking miserable outside. After so many weeks of this shit, I can feel my mood being altered because of it. Ugh, I need it to be warm outside. It’s so hard to get shit done because of this crap. I also get tired of how long it takes to run errands because people can’t drive for shit when the roads are bad and that alone sets me off. They either drive way too fast or way too slow and either way, it’s dangerous! I can’t stand the way people drive here but I don’t have time now to talk about that. Everyday there’s at least one person who pisses me off or I almost get in an accident with because of their driving. It’s fucking ridiculous!

Anyways, more later!