Just a quick note about the orientation/training. in Since OD is shutting down....

Alright so on Tuesday I did training from 10-6pm and then worked from about 6:20-11 or so. It was a very long day and I was pretty tired by the time I got home. I only made $43 at work that night but it’s a start to my car payment. I also had to pay gym, health insurance, and car insurance will be coming out on the 4th so my bank account is about empty but that’s something I don’t have time to talk about right now.

Ok so about the new job. I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about it and I’ve decided that there’s just too many things about it that I either didn’t consider, didn’t think about, or just wasn’t made aware of when I got hired. I feel like it would just be too much of a liability and I don’t want to be put in a position where if a person should fall or something comes up missing, I could be in serious trouble of losing my job and having my whole life ruined. I know this probably sounds paranoid as fuck, but it seems like a job where they are just waiting to nail your ass to the wall for something. It’s just way too risky, too much shit could go wrong.

I still wasn’t sure as of yesterday so I wanted more time to consider it before turning it down completely, so I emailed her saying that my Grandma was ill and I wouldn’t be able to start right away and she didn’t even bother to respond! It’s probably safe to say I’m probably done which is completely fine but I’ve had enough time to make a decision and I know that this is just not for me. If I’m going to work with elderly people, it’s going to be in an assisted living facility where they have to shower and their living space is clean and orderly. I’m totally okay with her not emailing me back as I already have a job and I’ll be just fine until I find something better.

I had my niece all night and have to work in less than an hour. I have to be there all day again and have to be there at 11 tomorrow morning but have to get my diabetic pill from Walmart and make my car payment before I get there so tomorrow I might stay just to hopefully make some extra money. Last night I was super pissed because no one was tipping and I felt like I was never going to get out of there. I was really dehydrated and there was no cups so I couldn’t get something to drink so I had dry mouth and a horrible headache. I will make sure to take water today so I don’t have to deal with that again. It was fucking awful.

But yeah, the home health aide stuff I will talk about more later on tonight or tomorrow night when I get more time but I know that it’s not for me. She also brought up a couple of things that really made me think twice was when she said that it was a really “emotional” job and that most of the clients are “difficult” so these two things were what I think really pushed me out the door. I don’t want a job where I have to be emotional as I have so many other things that I have to worry about and that’s just no gonna work for me. I’m not a really emotional person anymore and don’t want a job where I have to be. I have soooooooooooooooooo many other things to worry about and I like being at a job where I don’t have to give a fuck. I know that sounds bad but after what I’ve been through the past 2 years, I like being able to stay pretty mellow. I also had issues about the clients being “difficult” especially when the fucking pay is minimum wage!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We are supposed to deal with old people shitting their pants, being dirty and stinky, rid their fridges of expired food, do their laundry, run their errands, encourage bathing, help them with their bills, take them where they need to go, cook for them, clean for them, encourage hydration and nutrition all for MINIMUM FUCKING WAGE?!?!! Are you fucking kidding me?!?!?!?!!?!?!? Only when you do overnights is the pay $11 an hour and even that’s a fucking joke! I have a lot of friends that do health care jobs and even CNA’s that make more than that hourly for daytime and at LEAST $15 an hour for overnights!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I was absolutely blown away to find out the pay was so little for this kind of job. I can’t believe they would even offer that for an emotional job dealing with difficult clients! I can understand why they are having so much trouble finding people to work there and why people don’t last whatsoever. There’s just so fucking way in the world I could do this job, especially for such a ridiculous wage.

I wish I had time to go into how old people are so gross and I feel sorry for them and that I’m terrified as fuck to get old and what it can do physically and mentally but I just know that I can’t be a home health aide. I was really hoping this was going to be something I could get into but I’ve thought enough about it and realize it’s just no my cup of tea. It’s also a job where you aren’t guaranteed hours and never know exactly how many you are going to get a week so you’d still have to have another job or some kind of hustle on the side so that alone wouldn’t work for me. I want to get into something where it would be my only job where I’d have stable hours every damn week and don’t have to worry about it. I have to have a job where I never have to question getting enough hours. So if I took that job, I would still be at my current job just as much as I am now to make up for the pay there being so small and to make sure I get enough hours. Just no, fuck no!!!!

Anyways, gonna finish getting ready for work. Praying it’s going to be a better day than yesterday as it would be nice to buy groceries tomorrow.