All of a sudden... in Torridaussity Two

I am overcome with sadness and sit here crying. It is a combination of me being disappointed in myself and also being disappointed in others and they way they treat me and how I let them treat me. I pretend nothing is wrong that I am happy and it’s all a lie. I am blessed I have many things to be thankful for and I am, but deep down inside something is wrong and happiness is just out of reach and I hold it in all that is wrong and every now and then like now it finds a crack and seeps out of me making me breathless and crazed.