Conclusions in Ultimate Randomness

Well, it has been an awful long time since I had an entry here. I have been busy working on a Facebook group that eats up my free time. And as well as it is going, I have learned a depressing fact about myself. I can’t change. Not that I won’t or don’t want to. I am purely incapable of it. I will always be this person that I see and not the one that everyone else seems to see. I really wish I didn’t have anybody who cares about what happens to me. Then I could just disappear and nobody would notice or come looking for me. I’m sure in time, I will drive everyone away, but I can’t do that intentionally either. I just wish it would end. Of course, I won’t do that either, but I am tired of waking up everyday wanting to have one life and being a person who will always have another by my own failings and shortcomings. At least I know I have nobody to blame but myself for the way my life is. I may bitch about it, but I know there is nobody to blame for this but me.