Whiskey Tango Foxtrot in Book One: The Not So Daily Briefs 2014

I guess it is just one of those days, you know?

I had such wonderful plans for the day… and then what I wanted to do with the day wasn’t what I had planned to do for the day… and then what I wanted to do with the day isn’t what I wound up actually doing with the day.

My plans for the day:
I was going to wake up somewhat early, get several hours of Bar Exam study completed and feel good about where I am with that whole study plan.
Then I was going to eat lunch, stretch my stiff and sore body a bit and head to work.
Work wasn’t going to take long no matter what, so the idea was (after work was over) to change and go for a bit of a jog. Yes, I did run almost 4 miles yesterday… but my brother would like me to join him in a race sometime next year and the course is a half marathon so… I’d like to get into Half-Marathon shape sooner rather than later.
After what was certain to be an exhausting run, I still wasn’t quite certain exactly what I would do… either, I would have played some video games until my shower OR I would have masturbated and showered. After all, it has been between 2-4 months since I last had sex and it has been several days since I last had the time and privacy for self-pleasure.
Either way… after my shower, I was going to eat some Chinese food and study for a few more hours until the wife came home from work.

Yeah… none of that ended up happening, really.

What I actually did before work:
I did actually wake up fairly early. I was freezing and exhausted but I really want to pass the bar exam this time and forced myself to get out of bed and go into the living room. I booted up my laptop, drank some coffee, and wrapped a blanket around myself to stay warm. And fell asleep before I could log in to the Study Guide website!
Okay, when I woke up from that I realized there wouldn’t be enough time to get the full three hours of study in before work… and as I was still super tired, I figured- set my cell phone alarm and head back to bed. Boom, hit the bed = instant lights out.
I woke up again around 2pm!!! Grabbed clothes, went in to work, found out that when I got there wouldn’t have even mattered today… our department had no inmates. No interviews were required, I hadn’t been scheduled for a court shift, no intake paperwork was needed… so… I drove thirty minutes to work, to spend 40 seconds in an office to be told there was no reason to be there, then drive thirty minutes back home.

Somewhere in that drive… my entire inner world just… shifted.

Upon my return:
When I got back home… I just didn’t want to do anything. Well, that isn’t technically true. As I sat, feeling an emotion that can only be labeled as Limbo, I did want to do a combination of things… I wanted to eat Super Nachos while drinking Whiskey and having sex. Super Nachos? Well… those aren’t even a thing… not that I know of… so I don’t know how that even got into my head! Drinking whiskey? Gosh… I suppose I could go back outside, drive to the store, spend money… but we’ve spent too much money this month already… and not running and not studying REALLY doesn’t seem like behavior that should be compounded by alcohol. So… sex? HA! Let me crunch the numbers here… it is more likely that I’ll become a Senator in 2016 then of me having sex anytime in the near future. But that aside, I could masturbate, I suppose…

What I actually did after work:
After coming home from work and realizing what I wanted to do, and knew I couldn’t do, I just kind of sank a little bit more emotionally. Even the sexual release angle… I suppose I could take care of that but… even though I was physically in a place where I wanted release… I definitely wasn’t in a proper head place or emotional place for that. And yes, oddly I am the kind of guy that needs to be mentally and emotionally “there” and not just physically needy… hopefully, all guys are like that and don’t confess to it but… honestly, I’m okay with it if that isn’t a “typical guy thing.” So… I was just emotionally and mentally BLAH. Played some destiny, drank a crap ton of Orange Juice and felt a little bad for not studying. I do have about 3 more hours before the wife gets home from work but… shrug. I want to upload some photos to the net (partly because I’m going to use them in my autobiography that I also want to work on tonight), I know I should get some studying done… I don’t know, maybe I’m becoming ill.... I just feel.... kind of