24 Hours Ago in Hi

Could it only be a bit over 24 hours ago that my son’s roommate committed suicide? It seems like longer! It seems like shorter. Time seems jumbled.

Yesterday we were shocked. Today we are mixing in some anger. So it has to be at least 24 hours.

My son can’t get back into the house for now. He probably won’t ever be able to live there again.

His room mate was a paramedic .... so his co-workers responded to the scene. I’ve been reading statistics on paramedics and suicide and it’s high.

This probably isn’t coming across very clear.

I feel sick in the stomach and sick in the head. I feel mad at this young man who broke so many hearts. I wonder what he was thinking or not thinking. What was so bad? What about his Mother? Was he not thinking he was going to break her heart?

He had a girl friend. He had a dog. He had a roommate that thought the world of him and lots of friends.

I’ve lived 58 years and never lived with or had a friend that took their own life.

My sons life is complicated and he felt comfortable there. Grief/Anger Anger/Grief. Heartbreak. Worry.

Last updated January 15, 2015