Unknown - 02.11.13 in Your Face

My boss offered me more money to stay working with him for 12 months. Nowhere near enough money to make it worthwhile, but I have countered with a higher amount and a 6 month term. I am giving it consideration given the shitty, unknown situation I am in at present. Another six months away from M would be awful, but if the money is right, I could count off those six months and put a small fortune in the bank. Given that M still has me in the cone of silence and I have no immediate travel plans, I don't want to pass up an opportunity. It may not even happen, anyway.

Feeling flat and broke. My insurer says I have to pay the excess to get my car repaired, which of course I disagree with. I am putting together my argument and I will have to see how that all pans out.

I feel like I want to cut my hair off. I want to get acrylic nails. I want to get another tattoo, something tiny and discrete. I'm not quite sure where that feeling comes from. I don't like feeling plain and ugly. I can look nice when I go to the effort, but I rarely go to the effort.

My weight has inched down again. I have been between 62kg and 63kg and this morning I was barely 61kg (134.2 lbs). I don't know how to dress myself at this weight and shape. I had only just gotten used to dressing myself as a chubby girl. I'm not the right shape for cute little outfits and I have no fashion sense at all. Ugh.

How much can you take before you throw in the towel? I really don't know my limit. I want to run away and hide, but I'm not ready to quit yet.