It's Always Like This in Him

He’s not here.
It’s been a while since I’ve heard from him and then I’m okay with our seperation. I don’t pine for him. I don’t long for him. It’s just long enough for him to be out of my system. Then comes the Merry Christmas text. I reply and that’s it. I’m good, but then my kids disperse and I’m home alone. I’m either sipping some of the cheap store’s finest (lol) and watching a movie or I’m just chilling, drinking water watching a movie. I usually spend the holidays alone. ::shrugs::

Anyway, during that down time, I get a pang of lonely. I admit it. Not just lonely for Him, but lonely because mostly everyone gets on my nerves to the point I don’t want to be around them. I never want to keep my kids away from their family. I want to play games and have laughs too. I’m really simple like that, especially since I like to act a fool, but everyone has an attitude. Maybe I’m the one with the attitude.

:veered waaaay off subject with that:

Anyway, this time of year, I wean myself off of Him as much as I can. He will have spent ample time at home, rebonding with his betrothed. I’m usually steeped in work drama, and this year, kid drama, that I don’t notice that I haven’t talked to him in a while. It’s only respectful though that I don’t reach out. He’s where he will be making his home. I can’t be that hateful. Yeah I can, but I respect his life as it is.

So one of the last messages I sent to him, was to tell him I’m starting school in the spring. I said, “…now when you run off and get married I will have something to throw myself into instead of the River Des Peres down the street…” He found it funny, but then he didn’t. But it’s the truth. I’m going to bury myself to get over him. Kind of.

So that’s all that’s in my head right now.

Last updated January 05, 2015