TMI Overload in Book One: The Not So Daily Briefs 2014

Today has been… kind of a weird day. I mean… a nothing day, really, but still weird.

I suppose it started last night. My wife worked her 2-11 Thanksgiving/8-5 Black Friday shift and was completely bushed. But something else was up. She has been weaning herself off of an anti-anxiety/anti-depression drug called Citalopram. She told me why she doesn’t want to take it anymore and, frankly, it is none of my business to tell her what drugs to take and what not to… that is between her and her physician. However… the weaning off process has been somewhat odd for her. Not necessarily that she is acting any more anxious or depressed but she keeps saying her body is “humming”… that her body has this weird vibrate-sensation going on all day that she finds irritating and unpleasant.

We went to bed at around midnight and I woke up around 10. Couldn’t get back to sleep (not like I’d need to) and just got up- did some stuff around the house and studied some for the bar exam. about an hour later the wife wore up and wanted to go work out… but the humming thing was getting in her way. So she asked me to cook something for lunch (an odd request to start with, usually a full cooking meal is reserved for evening) and she got ready for work.

While she’s been working away, I did 3 loads of laundry, 2 loads of dishes, took out the recycling, and cleaned the kitchen. That has been my day. THAT isn’t the weird part.

The weird part is… I’m in one of those moods again today. One of those moods where… I just want to feel wanted, desired, or particularly attractive- even just to one person. I don’t know where it came from; but that is just the mood I’m in right now.

Of course… my wife and I are having problems in that regard as it is. Hell, our contact (especially of a romantic or sexual nature) has become so infrequent that when I hugged my wife goodbye today… that got me semi-hard. Even I had to laugh at myself and say “Must be a bit desperate, eh?” But… even if we weren’t having issues in that regard… this is not a good season or time to try to really engage. I mean, my wife is working her hands off at Wal Mart in Electronics… Wal-Mart ye olde king of understaffing; and Electronics gift source to modern America. Plus with this whole Citalopram weaning and everything else? Yeah.

On a completely different note- I’ve got a bit of a willpower issue. Looking ahead, I am going to have plenty of time to both Work Out and Study for the Bar… but I need to keep myself motivated, dedicated, and focused on both of those. The temptations to play video games, or read for fun, or just screw around on-line are heavy… I don’t know how to build the proper focus I will need but… hopefully, I figure it out soon!