Facing Fears Head On in Everyday Ramblings

Right now we are having a welcome sun break but I like the water droplets on the leaves in the street shot here and how they catch the light.

We had an old water main break here in downtown Portland early Tuesday morning and even though only a few blocks are inaccessible while they check out if the damaged street can hold traffic; getting to the other side of the river has been a nightmare.

On Tuesday evening even though I left early I barely made it to the studio for my private student’s session. She called a bit later frustrated and said she just had to give up because traffic was completely gridlocked. I felt so bad for her as I could hear the frustration in her voice after a long workday. She laughed when I told her to breathe deeply.

I put everything back where it belonged at the studio and walked a mile into another neighborhood to catch a bus home that avoided the affected area. 2 ½ hours it all took.

Last night I rushed out without thinking too much to go to a Weight Watchers meeting assuming surely they (the powers that be) would have addressed the situation by now. I could not have been more wrong. I forgot my book and my battery on my cell phone was low. An hour and a half later I walked into the meeting room just a few minutes before the meeting ended.

I had talked briefly at the end of my ride to my seat mate, the bright gorgeous young woman who was raised in Portland but had just returned from eight years in New York City. She was telling me about Hurricane Sandy. She’d been volunteering to help folks in these weird residential pockets, some of whom still don’t have power after a year.

At the meeting I was emboldened to stand up and show off my size small clothes. And I asked for a Bravo sticker for having stuck it out to get all the way across town. I was glad I did. There were new people there. I realize the staff is trying to recruit me to be a leader for practically no money but the folks at my center sent me a postcard the other day saying how much they enjoy having me at the meetings.

Considering my work situation you can imagine how much that means to me.

I think it is going to be okay working for Mr. T. We had our first meeting yesterday and he is not going to hold the chair situation against me. He had some great ideas for process changes and making things happen that would benefit everyone in the institution and we actually managed to hold those thoughts for about 24 hours before we hit the wall I have been up against for a couple of years.

Today I was told by management one level above him in writing that we could put our process improvements on a list and that doing things a cumbersome low tech time consuming way really wasn’t that bad compared to the amount of money it would take to do discovery on some high tech solutions. Or basically in the nicest way possible…stuff it…shut up…just do your job…we do not value you or what you do…don’t be a pest.

The question now is, will he fight for what is right and be an advocate or will he cave?

He has three small children and a stay at home wife. What do you think?

I am glad it is Friday. Kes is running away from home tomorrow and coming up here because Most Honorable is having a staff retreat at their house. She wants to go to the Button Emporium because she is knitting this gorgeous fitted sweater and buttons are a critical component.

Me, the woman with the pathological fear of falling on ice in the middle of a busy street is going to look into purchasing some trek poles.

I was listening to an interview with this astronaut that has a new book out last night before I fell asleep and he was talking about how they practice possible disasters over and over and over again so that they can stay calm and do the right thing, the smart thing when something goes wrong.

I need to find a falling class and practice dealing with falls over and over again until I know exactly what to do. But in the meantime Kes is bringing up my brand new bright red winter coat (size small) to make me a little more visible in case I do take that tumble.

Happy time change! Thanks to you in the Southern Hemisphere for letting us have that hour back. :)