don't want to leave but i. don't want to stay here. and waiting. and impatience. and frutrated. in The Wonderland Years: 2014. Done.

so as I’ve talked about. christopher’s not moving quickly. moving as in out of the house. cause again they have to find a place that can accommodate him. yeah well I don’t like waiting. I usually don’t. I don’t like waiting for the next time he’ll get upset and verbally abusive.........which might lead to him being in the hospital which I also, don’t like waiting for. which would lead to him coming back or not coming back. but if he doe come back i’ll have to wait for it to happen again. right cause it’s not all about me and that’s only part of it. I feel like if it were things would happen quicker. and i’m getting frustrated that they’re not. but there’ nothing I can do about it. also it’s really not my place to. in a way I wish he would get upset again so it would happen quicker. don’t tell me to be patient that won’t help. in fact it’ll only exasparate my impatience. no one’s being effective regarding how I feel. which is why I feel like I have to. it frustrate the hell out of me. when he gets upset I want stephanie to go in there and either tell him A: ‘no you don’t get to do that’ or 2: ‘you’re upsetting her and you should apologise’. which even if he did he wouldn’t remember he had. so that part I wouldn’t like but i’d like the fact that something’s being done or me. that someone’s being effective regarding how I feel. and she’s actually not allowed to d A. it goes against the rules. [and yes i’ll talk to jessica/Stephanie about how I want them to handle his].
and really I don’t want to leave the situation. I want the situation to leave me. I legitimately don’t want to leave. but I don’t want to be around this either. In my previous entry I went over why my options won’t work, so.