hair. ptd. coping. in The Wonderland Years: 2014. Done.

yeah so again like I said. Hannah think I have trich. which I don’t and never have. but anyway. she told me it’s a coping skill. yeah. and I never thought about it until she said it. but even though I don’t have it my keeping my hair is a coping skill. it’s related to my ptsd. that’s one of the first things I did in regards to the rape was cut 6 ins. off only I didn’t connect the 2 until yrs. later. he loved my hair. and I think I did it cause I was angry. but at the time that hadn’t occurred to me. it wasn’t ‘oh i’m reacting this way bc I was raped’. I didn’t even think of it as a reaction then. and since no one protected me then...........um. that’s the one part of me I can still always protect. by wearing a hat. [and by keeping my hair]. cause there are hats for all seasons. [well there are gloves too but people don’t wear gloves for fashion much these days]. [and the other reason I always wear a hat is cause like I said. self conscious].
for the pat 2 yrs. I’ve always been really sensitive about people mentioning my hair. I don’t tell people that and, I wouldn’t. yeah on Mon. Hannah even told me ‘you have nice hair’. well I did. [ED thing. that’s not why I started wearing hats but it’s another reason to].