NoJoMo Entry 14 in Torridaussity Two

The most disappointed I have ever been…I like any person have dealt with disappointment at many different times in life, but I think one of the most disappointing times in life is when I felt betrayed by my best friend.
I had liked this guy Chris since college and I mentioned in a different post how my college roommate had liked him so I never said anything and remained friends with him. He lives about an hour from me. We would talk on aol im(shows how long ago this was lol) and email and I told him about this party my roomies and I were having and he decided to come. I was super excited. I thought well maybe he does like me a little to come all this way for a house party. Anyway said party starts and he arrives. Enter my friend Tricia who is fully aware of my feelings towards him she too is at the party. Drinking commences and I mind you never get drunk at our parties or rarely at all as I don’t like feeling like I am not in control of myself. She however drank a lot and so did he. I am not going to lie he was flirting his way around the party, which stung a little, but I didn’t mind that much I had no claim on him, but then as I was walking around the corner I stumble upon Tricia making out with him. I walked away and went to my room. I was numb, I couldn’t believe she would do that to me. It’s one thing when a friend makes a move, but they have no clue you like the person, but she knew the story from when it started in college. I felt like she had punched me in the gut. I was a great actress that night and she did say a half assed drunken apology which I accepted, but I let the night go on which I ended up kissing him too, but it wasn’t special anymore. He actually spent the night in my bed we just slept though. I completely forgot when I invited him that the next day was my cousin’s wedding so I kinda had to kick him out earlier than I would have liked just because I felt like a bad hostess and he was hungover.
I think he was embarrassed by his behavior and apologized on im and we met up once after that and then he just randomly stopped talking to me. He had borrowed some German books from me…some souvenirs from my time in Germany and we had talked a few times after he borrowed them and then he stopped and still has my books, i tried to contact him and he ignored all attempts, did he lose them and not want to tell me? I guess I’ll never know. I still want them back damn it. I have since truly forgiven Tricia, but have never forgotten.