Someone on here suggested I write a quick little guide to nightlife in Bangkok. I balked at the idea because it feels stupid for a foreigner to write this, but that person countered that I’m technically an “expat”. (She obviously didn’t read the entry where I talked about how much I hate being called that.) But she’s correct, I’ve been here for just a few months shy of four years (how the fuck did that happen? this was just some drunk idea I had during COVID “Suuuuuure, I’ll go to Thailand!”)

So I guess, I’ll just tell you about some places you should or shouldn’t visit if you come to Bangkok.

AloneTogether - Thailand is a real stronghold of jazz music, which I’m not sure a lot of people know. The former king was a recognized jazz musician (I actually had to study some of the music he wrote when I was in college studying music), so there is no shortage of great jazz bars (the best ones are actually in Chiang Mai, but Bangkok doesn’t do so bad). Foo John is great, Buddha & Pals has a great old-school vibe, but for my money, AloneTogether is the best. It’s where I go when I’m depressed.

Sababa Izakaya - My friend who co-owns Café des Stagiaires (the French Café I visit monthly) also owns a Kiwi restaurant, a Greek restaurant, and this… a Mediterranean-Japanese fusion that is AMAZING! This one is in a completely different part of town than the other three, which are all right next to each other in Sathorn. This has some amazing flavors that I would have never thought of putting together. He was the manager of whatever place The Hangover movie filmed at (he was apparently an extra in the movie, but I never watched any of those movies so I don’t know), so he’s good at figuring out what people want.

39 Hornet Coffee - This is NOT a coffee shop. I mean, it is… but it’s not. And it’s definitely not for women, sorry. Thailand has turned a lot of seemingly innocuous businesses into places where you can fuck, for men and woman (usually they are very clearly defined whether or not they cater to straight men, gay men, couples, or just women)… everyone knows about massage shops and ping pong shows. But there are many businesses that seem totally normal and you go there not realizing you’ve just walked into another version of a bathhouse. This is one of those places. It is the coffee shop opened by the sex club to give horny gay men someplace to go during the daylight hours, since bathhouses cannot legally operate during morning hours. So, go buy a latte and get a blowjob at 9am, if you want.

theCOMMONS Saladaeng - If being gay is high school, this is the cafeteria. Every who’s who in Gay Bangkok comes here during dinner hours every night to catch up, eat and gossip. It’s basically like a mall food court, so there are plenty of options and they are mostly very cheap considering the are they’re in. After you finish eating, your new gay Plastic best friends will no doubt drag you down the street to the gay bars, where you will not really do anything but dance and drink because gay bars in Thailand rarely lead to hook-ups… they go to coffee shops for that.

FindthePhotoBooth - This is a fancy speakeasy where the entrance is located inside the photobooth. It’s actually incredibly hard to find, no I won’t help you. My first time it took me 30 minutes looking in photobooths, which are more prevalent than hookers in Bangkok, to find the entrance. The place is cool, it’s a bit expensive but it’s very cool.

SEEN Restaurant - An outrageously expensive restaurant on the roof of a river hotel… but you feel like you’re in a movie. Like a James Bond movie or a Christopher Nolan movie. Just go once and have an overpriced meal. It’s honestly ridiculous.

NAZTY BKK - Despite the name, it’s actually a really fun live music bar, set up like the clubs in Bangkok. People don’t really dance in Bangkok (they don’t dance at all in Chiang Mai, there are literally ZERO dance clubs in Chiang Mai), they bounce at their tables. This is one of those places that you have to go with a group of people, however. It’s right next door to #FindthePhotoBooth, so if you get lost you can just go here. It’s not bad.

The Key Room No. 72 - This bar is like stepping into a Bogey-Bacall movie. You’ll feel old but beautiful because it’s just immaculate. And don’t be stupid and order something like a vodka redbull or a Jameson pickleback.... get a fucking martini or old-fashioned like a fucking adult.

BRUT - Right down the street from The Key Room, this is the same kind of vibe but instead of being in the 1940’s, you’re in the 2040’s… this place looks like something out of Tim Burton’s mind, because it’s both timeless and weirdly futuristic. Great bartenders, super cool people. It doesn’t stay open late, so make sure this is one of your first stops.

Dirty Rabbit Hidden Bar - This is the after hours bar. Once all the gay bars finally close, the bars in Sukhumvit, Ari… all over the city everyone flocks here to party until sunrise. (I personally hate it, but then again, I like sleep)

Dusk - This is where I spend most of my time. It’s the vampire bar. Do you remember that episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer where all those dumb goth kids want to be vampires and hang out at a vampire bar? BOOM, here is that bar. It’s amazing. They play varying kinds of rock music depending on the night. You can smoke indoors, which really adds a haze to the red walls and body parts mounted along all the walls. The drinks are very basic, but they aren’t expensive.

Luka - My friend owns these restaurants. Michelin-star quality and much more affordable prices. Each location has a bit of a different vibe, I think I prefer the Sathorn location (it’s one block over from the French Café) but the Sukhumvit location is closer (around the corner from AloneTogether) so I always end up at that one. Steven, the owner, also has the cutest schnauzer who is such a lover!

Abandoned Mansion - Very cool bar on the first floor of a hotel with an amazing set-up and some of the worst live music you will ever hear. Dear God, please make those bears stop singing cabaret.

The Secret - This is the hidden bar inside Chatuchak Market (but on the opposite side from the store that is also a place where gay guys have sex, I told you, they’re everywhere). This is the great alternative to going out to Silom (the gay bar area). It’s outdoors, but they’ve got a decent bar set-up, live music and occasionally (good) cabaret shows. It’s actually right next to the MRT, so this place gets crowded quickly. If you show up after 8pm, you won’t get a table.

BEEF - Most gay bars in Bangkok (and indeed Thailand) are NOTHING like gay bars in America. They are not places where you mingle and flirt and float around. It’s almost more like dinner theater, you are assigned a table and you sit at your table and watch the people sitting at their tables at the bar across from you. BEEF is not like that. BEEF is the closest Bangkok gets to a Western bar. It’s a big open space that is designed to look like a gym steam room. The place is a gigantic dancefloor (relatively rare in Bangkok) and the music is okay. It’s the best club space in the entire city… However, it caters to bears and fat gay men, and if you aren’t, they won’t be very friendly to you. (Unlike what I’ve found in most other countries, the bear community and kink community in Thailand is NOT friendly at all). Furthermore, it has the most expensive cover charge and the worst drinks in Silom (which Silom is legendary for having the worst bartenders and drinks in the whole city). They have two types of beer, one type of each major alcohol but don’t have basic mixers. Basically, if you want vodka, you’re getting a shot of vodka… If you want a beer, they only have 2 kinds. Their sister bar, RUSH, is geared toward twinkie club kids, and it’s claim to fame is that it has a backroom (that I helped design, if you remember), but same terrible bar service. Get drunk elsewhere, then drag people you know here to dance the night away… that’s the plan.

Baz Bar - This is the exception to the bad drinks in Silom rule. He has a full bar, fresh fruit and veggies for ingredients, and spends time handcrafting each cocktail to perfection. Yeah, they’re the same price as the basic bullshit you get elsewhere.

Pickle - A new addition to the area, it’s actually in the opposite direction from the gays bars across the road from theCOMMONS. It’s very nice, the music is okay. It’s a lounge kind of situation, and most of their cocktails have some kind of pickle infusion. It’s fine, but it’s expensive. I remarked to a friend of mine about the price of the cocktails and he told me, “You’re paying for the atmosphere!” I looked around, “Atmosphere? This feels like I’m getting drunk at an Urban Outfitters in 2006!” and honestly that’s the most accurate way I can describe it, because I did get drunk at Urban Outfitters in 2006.

Obviously there are more places, but I hope this gives you some ideas should you make a trip to my corner of the globe.