The Plot Thickens in Current Events

I thought it was behind us, that it was blowing over, since it’s been a month now when work got spooky.

I took today off. The snow storm was menacing and I’m wintered out. Weathered out, more like it. HR called me. First she assured me that I was not in trouble. There is a lot of opportunity for growth at the organization and we are trying to get a picture of where we’re at so we can build on it.

This was about my massive expense claim in February. She wanted to know why and who authorized it. Then she wanted to know why I felt like I needed to take on the responsibility. She now knows everything. I don’t know if this will escalate or not but I can only control what I can control. I didn’t lie to her and I made sure to advocate my coordinator. I had to bring up how he is under pressure so she could understand why I take on so much.

We shall see what happens. Obviously the conversation is confidential and it will be the first one I have to keep from my coordinator. She explained that it only be brought up to the ED if she feels it needs to be escalated. That is intimidating and I already know that it will. The directors on suspension do not look so good right now. I just hope that I survive this.

She was in awe of me with my level of participation and with how strong I’m standing after how heavy it was for me in October and February. I’m still standing and being strong enough for everyone at the office. I’m trying to be the voice of reason.

She knows how I had been coordinating my coordinator. Where I saw all the conflicts of interest since I started. What the climate was like at the office since I started. We will see if this amounts to anything.

The reason I am intimidated is because I am witnessing in real time how ruthless topside can be when it comes to shutting down programs. The girl version of my program had 20 participants that were left abandoned. To be fair, the facilitator of that program quit without notice. This saga looks to be more about the lack of accountability and leadership at the organization.

I have to be at work tomorrow, we will see how that goes. I’m thinking about taking it off. Fuck it. I will do just that.

She gave me some resources and encouraged me to call a number to speak with someone about our convo so that I don’t go into the weekend with any stress. She assured me again that I’m not in any trouble. I’ll give them a call as I can’t talk to anyone else about it.