A Changeling in Dreams

I was a changeling. I knew it intrinsically, and I knew little else.
I knew that I was not supposed to tell or to show anyone. It was who I was, but they hated it. They wanted me dead for it.
I dreamed that I was in a crowded place. I needed movement; to move regularly and in high exertion to keep myself from feeling ill. So I had to go to a place much like a gym, where there were mats laid out for one to step on and do their exercise movements. This place was highly frequented and the mats always full. Lines for them were not uncommon, although I went when it was slightly less busy.
Even more pined after were these somewhat closed in machines which projected images of the outdoors; since the outdoors didn’t seem to exist in this very crowded, synthetic and indoors place. I had the good luck of finding one and using it for a little while.
As others lined up to wait their turn, I became aware of it and hurried my pace. I didn’t want to leave; this was the move divine experience that I could attain in this horrid place. Ofc no one wants to give up that tiny slice of heaven.
There were larger males waiting and they were becoming impatient. So I knew my time was up and yet, just as I knew this, one of them aggressively stopped my time and was about to forcibly remove me. I moved past him, knowing well that I would not be touched. I don’t remember how, but that the space was enclosed and it must have been an inherent and unconscious changing of my body that allowed for it.
Both of the men were shocked but only one of them seemed completely off the wall mad. He looked at me with extreme hatred and an intent to kill or attack. The other didn’t want to lose his place at the machine, and ignored the situation.
SO I ran, and the man lunged and pursued. Now, different shape shifters were not unheard of in this place, but not like me. This man turned into a giant raging beast of thick bristling fur and long sharp claws, similar to a bear. He swatted at me with his razar sharp dinner plate of a paw, and I disappeared into nothing, or what probably seemed like nothing. And, many small birds flittered away.
The bear stopped, looking perplexed, “HOW MANY THINGS CAN YOU TURN INTO?” he bellowed, outraged, and stopped- his rage draining and his expression turning to terror. He suddenly had no interest in pursuing me and was gone.

But, it was done. The cat was out of the bag.

Although, the rest of the dream is less clear and more of an outline of events.

I was with someone who was a protector for me. He knew who I was and tried to instruct me, but I could not comprehend it. There was some block, or amnesia, about my own identity. He tried to instruct me about what to do, and again I simply could not comprehend. He told me never to change, and he said find something to look at which is permanent so I will not shift my appearance by accident over time. I chose the sun. Although over time even that was hidden from us, although I remembered it. My protector was taken away after awhile. I never saw him again.

After I was found out, I didn’t know where to go or what to do. There was only one light in the world- one natural light- and it was a whitish golden beam projected to earth onto a singular building. So I went there. I didn’t know what it was, but it was so intensely interesting that this was the only light that shone through the thick, obfuscating cloud layer that covered the entire sky. I went there, to the top of the building and looked up.
It was surreal. It was like looking into a patch, a clear, bright, gay and clean patch of beautiful deep azure blue sky. The sun shone strongly and I felt even it’s heat, it’s love, pouring onto me. I became aware as well that my whole body was lit up. Not just the top, as the sun was shining, but all of it. As if the light was not shining down, but was shining as from itself.

The light was shining from within itself. It was a direct connection from a mind. What mind? Who’s mind? I went down below me into the building. There, I gathered that the mind they had was disembodied. They could not kill it. And the body they had torn it from couldn’t die, either. Where is the body? I wondered. There was none. And as I came closer to the mind- something shining in a tank of water- I realized that this was my mind.