Dreamstride in Current Events

Twelve hours of sleep was not on my bingo card.

I had a very intense dream about work. When I say intense, it was just very vivid. Jackie, who filled in as the Program Director is now the acting Executive Director. This is the absolute top of the Matriarchy. It feels like a hostile takeover. In my dream, I finally met her and my brain casted Sandra Bernhard to play her. She wanted to micro-manage my program. I do not thrive with a boot on my neck. My last employer was the worst micro-manager. Then I tried to get my old friend Danielle to apply for the Office Administration. She was like a little sister to me.

I don’t know why my body needed twelve hours of sleep. I don’t know why it needed to wake me up five times to void my bladder either. Ok, I do know that one. It means I wasn’t hydrated enough. I have a late start at work today so I had time to sleep in. We have a boxing session this evening so we start really late. We also have a temp Office Administrator who started yesterday. My team does not work Mondays so I will meet him today. He is the son of the real Executive Director who extended their stress leave.

I was thinking that there was an internal investigation for money laundering. After talking with Cathy, I am leaning toward her thinking. Piss poor leadership. Our organization was in the news a few months ago. We have a 24/7 safe space for women that we haven’t been able to keep 24/7 because of staffing issues. Also, the neighborhood drove them out. They had to move. Seriously though, there was an elementary school on the block and this safe space is where women go to get high. One of those women passed out in that school’s field where kids got to witness it over recess.

According to Cathy, under Jackie, decisions are actually being made. For better or for worse things are finally moving. This is why there has been such an intense hiring spree. We have a leader that is making HR do their job and fill every single position, post haste. They bypassed the chain of command and came at me in an email, as we know. The interaction wasn’t so bad. There were boundaries that I didn’t know I was crossing. They seem to be really impressed by us and what we are doing.

A couple of weeks ago, we were told that our Youth Director and Wellness director were on leave. A program facilitator and our secretary quit that day also. I did a wellness check on some of them and the Wellness Director said she was on suspension and that she would return on the 17th if she was welcome back. Today I will know the score. She was the face of the organization. She was the heart and soul. We are all really hoping to see her this week. She also told me that she would tell me everything that was going on.

My probation is over. I will have an email waiting for me when I get in linking me to my benefits. My coordinator is going to advocate for me to get a raise. No hard feelings if they say no. There are a lot of factors to consider regarding that. I just feel that I should make more because I do more than my coordinator, in a captured essence. I coordinate my coordinator. I manage my manager, etc.

I feel like I am starting a second puberty. I’m actually filling out, physique-wise, so I have been extremely clumsy. I am 39 and don’t have any grays or wrinkles, yet. However, I discovered that I have whiskers growing out of my ears. I am an old man now <3. Of course, I lost my juvenile hairline and my hair is thinning :(

I have been experiencing some throbbing in my neck. I think it is my thyroid. I have micro goiters because of an iodine deficiency and now I have low TSH hormones because of too much iodine. We had me stop supplementing with iodine and sea kelp. In four months we will test again and see if it levels out. This throbbing can be expected as it adjusts, according to ChatGPT. No need to panic. However, if I still have low TSH then the problem isn’t iodine it is my pituitary gland. We will cross that bridge later.

Feels like half of my day is gone. I was up at 8:30 instead of 5. I’m going to do a community walk today, finally. I have no reason why I can’t. It is done at noon and I start work at 1 PM. This walk is volunteer work where I join a shelter on a walk to feed the houseless. I only did it once and I spent the entire walk worried about my car… That reminds me, I dreamt about my car too.

In my dream, I took my car to my autobody shop and they started telling me everything wrong with it. That’s usually how it went with my Caliber. I bought a 2021 Charger in September and it is due for an oil change. I needed a car to secure this job that I currently have but I needed the job to secure the car. I had a small window of opportunity to finance a car. I was getting full-time hours just long enough to produce polished paystubs. Immediately after I got the car my hours dropped but I got hired for something full-time that paid $5 more. Did I need to get a Charger? No. I wanted a Challenger but that was too midlife crisis for me. I got the Charger because I was sick of settling for things I didn’t want. It wasn’t the smartest move but I’m happy with it.

I did not leave the apartment yesterday. I did not go on social media. I did my detox regiment and self-care regiment and let myself suffer from boredom. I get restless so I did a leg workout at home and cleaned up the apartment. Today, my legs are very crispy. I always do this to myself when I have a boxing class. This morning I was going to go to the gym but I slept through it. Not sure what to do with my morning now. What a nice problem to have. I did not like my problems this time last year. I don’t want to trade my problems with anybody. I have great problems in 2025 so far.