Ever Get Sick & Tired? in meh...

I’m always sick and tired of SOMETHING.
My rants are epic too. LOL
My sick and tired is of being BROKE, or as my son put it so eloquently, Functioning Poor.

I have pretty much everything paid for that needs to be paid for. I put money on gas, paid the entired amount of my electric bill. I have a couple of loans. One comes out directly of my account and another I have to get money to pay it. I NEED to have my cell phone on because that’s my only means of communication with the outside world. And at the end of all of this I owe Him $20 which leaves me with maybe $25 left for groceries. AND at this very moment I need toilet tissue and have for about a week. Glad no one in my house is a shitty mess right now. LOL

I thought I was good thinking, yeah, I got like $100 to spend on groceries and some change to play with then I get the electric bill AND a disconnect notice at the same time. So where I already sent in $75 that wasn’t enough so I wrote another check for another $90. It’s not fair. Everytime I think I’m going to be okay, I’m not. SOMETHING always happens.
My grandson’s birthday is the day after Thanksgiving and my daughter wants to know if I can help her with it. I can’t help myself and it breaks my heart.

I have been trying my best to become better with my money. I’ve been trying my best to keep my bank account out of the red. My bank sent me a letter and an email about it recently. Thing is, every bit of money I get, be it overdrawing my account or whatever, is for groceries or a bill. I don’t get to do much fun stuff anymore. I’ve resigned to be isolated because my friends, well only one of them is in the same boat as I am as far as money is concerned, but she is single and doesn’t have any kids.

If I’m not spending money on groceries, little bits go to my son as in, I go to thrift stores to get him clothes these days. If it weren’t for thrift stores or dollar stores, he wouldn’t have what he has now. He still needs pants and he’s a growing boy. My son is 16 & 6 feet tall. What am I supposed to do with all that boy??

I sporadically get child support from my kids father. He is supposed to pay $225 monthly. I get $75 whenever they send him a letter that they’re looking for him and that’s usually every other month. And my son isn’t even on the support order that I’m getting this money for. He was paying for my daughter and then decided that he was going to freelance work, get married & move to the country of Illinois, get divorced, go to jail, live with his mom, get his own place, live with his mom, freelance work, get a piece of job paying under the table, lose that job, and now we’re here. looks crazy Yep. All of that.

I scrape and scrape then it’s rent time.
I don’t even make miracles for holiday meals anymore because I can’t. I would cook, but send the kids off to their dad’s family. Especially so since I don’t have a car.

Oh I’ve gotten off track. Then again that’s right on track.

I moved, got cheaper rent, but my gas bill is going to be a bother because I have a gas stove now instead of electric. The way my apartment is, my landlords are STRICT when it comes to utilities being on. You HAVE to keep the utilities on or they put you out. If you don’t pay rent after the grace period of 5 days, they start charging daily late fees and if they still don’t get their money, they will start the eviction process. If you bounce a check you have to pay by money order from there on out. Guess who bounced one check by accident? Right.

I don’t know how I’ve done it all these years. Raising my family on my pay. It seems like the more money I make the less money I seem to have. I don’t think I try to live outside my means. I know what I can and can’t afford and put those things in my “Dreams” box until I can make it happen. My mother makes me sad when she keeps asking me when will I get a car. Then my brother turns around and ask “You get another car yet?” Like he cares. He only asks so that I can do more for my mom and see her. Hell EYE want to see her more. I miss my mother. I love my mother to pieces. I want her to watch my grandson, her first great grandbaby grow up. I want him to know his Gigi.

::deeeep sigh::

I’m so frustrated. I was watching something and they were talking about Sugar Daddies & Sugar Babies and it ain’t the candy. Thing is I’m even too old for that. I am seriously considering a position in the Use him/Use me business. LOL

Going to school is going to help in the long run, but not right now.

Okay I think I’m done ranting, but I’m sure there is more to come.

Take care, peace & light,
Kindest regards
Sister…

Last updated November 07, 2014