Update 7 in The REAL Baby Journey!

I’ve been going through a bit of doggy withdrawal (which I think is largely ‘real life withdrawal’ after three straight days in a hospital bed) and without me saying anything, my friends and family have picked up on this or expected it and started sending me pictures of their dogs in their daily check in messages. I get texts all day long of my puppy nieces and nephews wearing silly hats or holding up silly ‘thinking of you!’ signs or out on hikes looking happy. These do wonders for my spirits as I miss my sweet girl so very much. How all these people from all walks of my life knew that that is what would make me feel the best I’ll never know but the constant stream of support in my own language is just too sweet not to write down and remember.

Then today, after the best night of sleep I’ve had in months, I was woken up by a favorite little furry face and my sweet papa who surprised me in my hospital room with a visit from the family dog who also happens to be an official volunteer therapy dog here.

My dad and I sat and talked for over two hours. He’s worried about me and was so nervous for both of us when my sister was also going through labor at the same time. He’s in a tough place as a dad to two daughters because he wants to be here and be present and supportive of us but also wants/needs to respect our husbands and their roles as well as not be all up in our business (like our crotches) during the labor part. So he waits and he paces at home and he is all nervous excited and eager to do and be anything he can. He is doing a superb job watching my sweet puppy dog at their house and walking her and feeding her and singing songs to her about how pretty she is (my specialty) and that is a priceless job to me right now. :) He also told me today repeatedly that becoming a dad was the best thing he ever did and that being our dad was his greatest blessing. He’s one big mushball normally but this becoming a grandpa thing is pretty much the cutest side of him yet. :)

I’m going to try to make a point to take a few more pictures today as this is my last day being pregnant. Phew. That hasn’t quite set in yet. Hard to believe that this journey that started so long ago with me dreaming about becoming a mom and working through infertility and struggling to get pregnant then those first few scary weeks and months as the statistics mounted that I wouldn’t keep the baby then complications at 20 weeks and 22 weeks and 24 weeks and 32 weeks…all led us here. I’ll be 34 weeks tomorrow and that is awesome, all things considered. Tomorrow I get to welcome my little nugget and kiss its sweet cheeks (I hope I get to do some skin-to-skin after delivery and before it is whisked away to the NICU!) and find out if it is a boy or a girl…such a big day. While I’m excited to meet the little one I can’t say I ‘can’t wait’ as, really, I’d love another 6 weeks of pregnancy and a full term baby and a healthy, low stress, routine outcome. So I’m cautiously ready for tomorrow to come but also savoring every last possible second of today, of this life, of the ‘before’, of a quiet life with a still ‘inside’ baby, of just me and Rob and The Bump. It all changes so soon so I’m trying to let today go as slow as it possibly wants because tomorrow is such an uncertain time. It’s hard to explain.

It’s odd to know the day your baby will arrive. I’ll start the induction and the end of bed rest at 8 AM tomorrow and then it’s anyone’s guess. I may respond really well and my contractions may pick up (I’ve been having them all week while on bed rest but they’re very mild and kept at bay with fluids and sitting still) and I may have the kid before noon. I may also respond slowly and need more meds and more intervention and then maybe I’ll be laboring into Saturday. We’ll see. It will be what it will be. So many possible ways it could go. So many ways the baby could come out. It may need every single intervention and be super sick and very unstable and very very small or it may come out fighting and angry and breathing like a champ and require just a week or two of monitoring and nutrition help before coming home around Thanksgiving. More likely it will be somewhere in the middle. My cervix was already 3 cm, 90% effaced and baby was at 0 station on Tuesday and now we’ve added nearly four more days of contractions on there so I’m hoping that means things are as primed and ready to go as possible. Fingers crossed. Positive energy and optimism are my strongest allies right now and I’m just keeping the chill, confident, calm vibe going all day. Every single time they monitor the baby and check its heart rate it looks exceptional and is doing everything perfect and is 100% healthy and strong in there. That is such a relief and gives me hope that this baby is not only a fighter but a really strong tiny person and it will blow away all of our worst fears and be a little tiny rockstar. It may come out super sick though and I won’t think any less of it…it’s had a tiny home to grow in and a lot of complications so far so anything that’s ‘wrong’ with it won’t be a reflection of the spirit or fight in that sweet baby. Anxious to see which way it goes. Hopeful it will be the healthiest route possible.

So tomorrow I get to officially become a mom. That is the most surreal, awesome, incredible, exciting, sorta terrifying, brilliantly fantastic thing I’ve ever written. Tomorrow. November 7th. Tomorrow my whole life changes. Thanks for being along for the ride, guys. Thanks for your cheerleading and your support and your notes full of smiley faces and strength. I’ll be sure to share photos as soon as I can…it will be a wild ride no matter what!