Rhonda in 2020s

I saw Rhonda yesterday and felt really awful when I first got there. I was horribly exhausted and anxious, but it wasn’t the anxiety I get from the medication if I’m not careful. It was just being wound up from feeling so shitty and hopeless. My first BP reading was 210/90! The top number eventually dropped to the 160s and then finally, the 130s. That’s because I ended up feeling so much better by the time I left! Where I once wasn’t sure what to think about Rhonda, now I feel like I could really hug her. She’s such a sweet, caring, passionate person.

I told her the hydroxyzine wasn’t helping with my anxiety. Sure, it made me drowsy and helped me fall asleep, but I didn’t sleep well and woke up hungover. She agreed it wasn’t a good option and prescribed clonazepam—one at bedtime and half during the day if needed. I ended up sleeping the best I’ve slept in weeks: just over seven hours. I only woke three or four times instead of seven or eight and never got up to pee. It was also the second night using a humidifier, which definitely seems to help. People may wonder why I need a humidifier in Florida, but while Florida is humid, it’s not humid inside. The AC dries things out.

Rhonda thinks my nasal issues might be due to polyps restricting airflow. She recommended a particular ENT and said this doctor is wonderful. She recommended a particular ENT that I’ll see if is included in the new insurance plan. She said he’s wonderful and that there was this woman that complained about something poking through her neck whenever she turned her head to the side. She went to a GI doc who said everything was fine, some other doc who said she was crazy, and then finally to this ENT who found the problem had to do with bone in her ear and jaw or something like that. After suffering for 2 to 3 years she finally got it resolved. I wish I only suffered for 2 or 3 years. It was more like 8 years with the hormonal hell and medication anxiety, and now it’s getting close to half a decade with the crazy fatigue. Hopefully, it will be resolved soon enough and not replaced with a whole new long-term problem.

Once we pick a pulmonologist from the new plan, I’ll give her their name so she can write a referral, along with one for the ENT. I told her about my previous ENT nightmare, with constant cancellations. Hopefully, the clonazepam will hold me over until my nose is fixed and I’m back on a CPAP. I’m finally feeling the first glimmer of hope and seeing a ray of light at the end of the tunnel for getting my energy back!

I also showed her the fungus in my thumbnail. She suggested dropping the lacquer and soaking it in vinegar for 15 minutes daily. If that doesn’t work, I have a prescription she wrote, but it’s a last resort because of potential side effects. If I take it, I’ll need liver enzyme checks after a month.

I was annoyed when the nurse insisted on taking my blood pressure from my left arm, exposing the bruise I’d wanted to hide. She noticed it right away, and I had to give the same story about a box falling on me. Whether she believed it or not, I didn’t care—that’s not why I was there.

I hope no one suspects Tom of anything. I don’t think they do, though. I think they can see that he’s a very easygoing guy and doesn’t have a violent bone in his body. Besides, I’m tougher than him, LOL.

We have a six-week video follow-up where Rhonda will check my thumbnail and decide on the next steps. I haven’t had that stomach cramp in four or five days, so we’re not worried about that anymore. She didn’t think it was necessary to recheck the fatty tumor on my adrenal gland, and they forgot my flu shot—but that’s okay. Tom is getting his soon to reduce the risk of him bringing the flu home to me.

She thinks my nail issues are mostly due to my thyroid. She reminded me just how singled out and cursed I sometimes feel by reminding me that for most people, it’s a case of set it and forget it. But since I can’t take enough of the medication my body needs, I’m prone to nail issues. Again, if there’s anything up there, the last decade didn’t need to be so hellish on me if you had just helped me by letting me take the medicine I needed. I shouldn’t have had to suffer and continue to do so much of the time.