No job in Hello.

I didn’t get the job in the shop. The first I knew about it was when there was an article on the front of the local paper about the new department that was opening, with a photograph of the two new members of staff. I’m not bitter about not getting the job, I mean, they can’t possibly take everyone on, but I am upset that they didn’t just let me know, instead of implying that I was ideal for the job and keeping me hanging on. It would have been perfect for me, but hey, these things happen. On the other hand, I applied for the manager’s job in Oxfam, I figured I had nothing to lose! So then when I got an email from them and saw the top line “Thank you for your application for the manager’s position in Oxfam…” I assumed they were going to ask me for an interview, but it was a rejection email, lol! I’m not used to being contacted to tell me my application hadn’t been successful!
I’ve been a bit up in the air regarding what I want to do and where I want to go career wise. I’m definitely set on doing some sort of outdoor work, I’d love to be a ranger, but jobs like that are like hen’s teeth around here. All the profiles I’ve read about rangers say that it’s really difficult to get into and you’ve basically got to try and volunteer to do as many things as you can pertaining to rangering. It definitely feels like “it’s not what you know, it’s who you know”, as now that I’m in the loop, as it were, I keep getting emails about various volunteering posts that are coming up. Before I got involved, I had to actively hunt them down and email people saying “I’d really like to do this....” then being turned down because I don’t have enough experience. The only thing holding me back now is my lack of a driving licence, which is why I want a job, so I can afford driving lessons. John still has a bit of money left over from his inheritance from grandma, but I’m not sure about asking for money off him really. Up until now I’ve been terrified by the concept of getting behind the wheel after a bad experience on a driving lesson about 11 years ago. On my first lesson, the instructor told me to keep pressing the pedal until I could feel it bite. I had no idea what that meant, but he wouldn’t elaborate “Just until you feel it bite! You’ll know…” but I never did know, which made me nervous for my second lesson. Then on my second lesson, he took me round a residential estate on a Saturday afternoon, there were ice-cream vans and kids running around playing football. Then as I drove down a road that had cars parked down both sides, a football appeared in front of me, then a kid with his head down chased it right under the drivers side. The thought of it now is making me feel a bit queasy! Thankfully I did an emergency stop, even though I hadn’t been shown how to do one yet (which seems pretty stupid, considering where I was driving, dual control or not!) As a consequence, I didn’t book a third lesson.
But last weekend changed my mind. I started my college course, which if I complete, I will end up with a level 2 in countryside management. The first lesson was all about ATVs and we looked at a quad bike, a tractor, an amphibious vehicle, a Landrover and some sort of dune buggy thing. Even though I was the only person there who didn’t drive, our tutor really really simplified it. She was ace, she’d been driving tractors since she was 9 and stripping engines since she was about 12, so she knew everything about everything! We learnt how to do a pre use check, so once she’d shown us the various bits of engine, it kind of demystified it for me....the engine isn’t a great big uncontrollable thing, it is just a machine with componenet parts. And for some reason, it stopped being so scary! The second day involved her showing us how to drive the quad and the tractor, but even though I had been keen to try the quad bike (the tractor not so much!), when I saw that she’d set up a ‘fun’ obstacle course, I didn’t feel so confident. I thought we were going to have a go at just riding it around the arena. And she did say I could just do that if I wanted, but with everyone’s eyes on me, it didn’t seem so much like fun. I’d have maybe done it if was just one on one. Every time someone got off the quad bike, they’d pass me the helmet and the keys and go “Go on, Sonja, it’s fun!” which got tiresome after about 12 times. When I was telling my dad about it later, he again told me I should have tried it, and I explained that imagine he’d gone along to a ballet class and everyone in the class could dance except him. The tutor would show them all a routine they had to try…how would he feel about doing it in front of everyone? I think he understood after that, it wasn’t that I couldn’t do it, I just didn’t feel confident doing it front of a group.
I did get to go in the Landrover while the other tutor drove me round the offroad track. That was great fun, he explained to me how the differential lock works, then lifted his hands off the wheel, while the vehicle ‘drove’ itself along the straight bit of the track, then we tipped up by about 45 degrees, which was a bit hairy, but I wasn’t scared, until he told me it would only need about another 2 degrees before it would roll, the sod!
My next class is on the 20th and 21st November, apparently we’re going into more depth with the engine. I think I’m going to find it boring, lol! I’m really looking forward to carving the finger posts and laying the dry stone walls, but they’re not till next year.
I just need to keep my ear to the ground with regards to work parties and throw myself headlong into them as much as possible. I’ve already volunteered myself to do the kids’ guided walks again, I did like those.