life is lifeing in Each Day

I’m in a fractionally better headspace this week, though that might tank since M is gone for a week for testing again. He’s positive he’s going to fail. We were talking about this, this evening, when he called me from the hotel. He’s not fussed about failing and I just have such belief in him that even though I know he’s struggling, I will still be surprised if he does fail. He’s smarter than he gives himself credit for. Also when you put it in the context that the guys who graduated the course in 2023 don’t have two tickets, let alone testing for the third. Compared to M, who was hospitalized during the 2023 course, was sent home and still got two tickets, went back to finish the course, and now he’s testing for his third. He says after this he’s done for a bit. He’s really put so much into this and while he doesn’t seem proud of his accomplishments, he really should be. I’m proud of him.

Last weekend Red threw a party, at which I was mauled by a small child. He was going around giving all the guests hugs (CUTE!) and when he got to me he tried to kiss me on the lips (NOT CUTE!), which I managed to dodge, but it didn’t matter, I got a fucking cold. Monday I wasn’t sure, I had that post-nasal drip which always tells me a cold is coming for me, but I was hoping it was just that the building was dry, or something, anything else.
Tuesday morning I woke up feeling like the undead. And of course I was co-facilitating a course for 2SLGBTQIA+ peer supporters, so I woke up, texted the lead facilitator, took a covid test (it was negative) and headed to the facility where we were doing the course.
Those two days gave me so much life. I am really in my element in that environment. Granted, I have been into peer support since I was in elementary school. I used to do peer support reading buddies for younger grades, and then in high school there was a peer support group there, too. Then at University I joined the GLBT Club (cause that’s what it was called in 2001, how far we’ve come), where we also did peer support, but also a lot of fun stuff.
So it feels right to do this.
Before I went off on sick leave a few weeks ago I got an email from the guy in charge of culture change, asking me if I could facilitate the course. I said absolutely, but I was going to be away until mid Nov and he was like, that’s fine. But I haven’t co-facilitated in ages, and I’ve never lead-facilitated, so It’s going to be interesting. I’m running the course at the beginning of December, so I have a week to get my shit together.

Thursday I still felt like shit, but I went into work to coordinate with the person who is sharing my position. Except she wasn’t there, so I went home to work. Overnight Thursday into Friday I was awake from 2:20-5:30, so I called in sick. After everything that has gone on with me, I hate calling in on a Monday or a Friday. It’s so suspicious. But what the fuck can you do when you’re actually sick.

Then M and I enjoyed our weekend together, until I took him to the airport, anyway. After dropping him off I drove into the city and met Red and her dude for brunch, and then she and I went on to the local Crafters Christmas Market. It was great. Not 5 minutes in the door I got 3 compliments on my hair. By the end I think Red said the tally was 8. She got a fair bit of attention too. It felt a little like Old Red and I, where we’re irreverent and making a bit of a spectacle.

After we were done I dropped her off at home. I grabbed some groceries, and headed home. I’ve been playing video games, reading (I’m reading again!!! Graphic Novels, but I’ll take it!), and watching YouTube.

Talking to M this weekend he made a nonchalant comment that has taken root in my brain. I think I need to request a transfer into a new position. I’m going to talk to Old Boss about it, I’m not sure if my getting written up will prevent this from happening, but I know there’s a position in a different building, and the woman who runs the department is LOVELY. We’ll see I guess.

It’s definitely bedtime though. There’s no reason for me to be so tired.