You're gonna make it through another night. in In My World

You might as well only read this entry if you care, It’s going to consist of all the pointless bullshit on my mind tonight, anyway. Nothing important.

I feel off tonight. I’m trying as hard as I can to figure out what the fuck is going on but at this point I really don’t know how. I just feel so alone. I know that there are people I could reach out to, but it doesn’t matter. In this moment I am alone. My thoughts, my feelings, everything is a little up in the air. I can’t concentrate, but I know something’s wrong. I can’t stop crying. I don’t know what’s wrong. I don’t even begin to know what’s wrong.

Maybe it’s that my dog’s death anniversary is coming up. Or maybe it’s because Kenny’s been weighing on my mind a lot today. College and drowning in the stress of not passing a class that I’m not allowed to drop. Worry. So much worry. I don’t even know if the worry makes sense anymore. Maybe it’s about April. Or maybe it’s because I talked to Cole the other day. Maybe it’s because I’m feeling like an awful girlfriend/friend/daughter. Or maybe it’s because I’ve been around people all weekend and haven’t had a single night to myself. Maybe I’m just scared.

This is all speculation and I can’t fucking figure out the real reason. I just want to feel better. Instead I feel like I’m either going to be up all night or I’m going to get a migraine. Or maybe both. Please PLEASE not both. I don’t feel right and I don’t know how to fix it. All of this started with me just feeling a little lonely…and it’s spiraling out of control. On that note, I really can’t handle going to class tomorrow…but I have a test that there’s no way I’ll pass…and I already missed the two days I was allowed to.

I think I’m going to either work on a dear you entry now or part of a story, I guess we’ll find out. I shall return soon.