I don't ask for much in Second 1st

Jake was able to find a car the first time we went out. It’s a red, 2015, Dodge Dart.... black leather interior. Everything seemed to work fine and I walked him through what I would do.... so far he’s doing it. Oil change and a visual examination from a car guy he trusts.... so far he’s doing an oil change today and his brakes are only at 10% so he will need to do that soon.

I just paid the housenote for November but technically we are all caught up now. I’m sure it will be another 3 months till I’m where I want to be (paying bills as they come in).

Jake got his car and hasn’t been home since.... I mean … here… Friday he spent with Cian (his son) and he’s had appointments and running for his mom....We had planned in 2 hours between this and that.... but he’s horrible at time and ended up stopping by with his mom in the car at Destiny’s to get medicine he’d forgotten and gone 3 days without.... I didn’t even get a kiss :(....

I can fool myself no longer. I am the problem.....
I don’t know when he will be home again. His schedule is nuts.... Today, he’s taking his mom to a movie and says “You’ll already be asleep when I get home.” He will have to take his mom to her house .... so I’m sure he will stay there another night.

Now that he has a car again he needs to make his scheduled appointments during the day .... whatever though.... I know I”m not the #1 priority nor do I wish to be.... just would like some time with him....time in which we can get intimate.... but it’s fine I’m used to being lonely...... just not sure how the hell I can explain it to other people now.... I’m still doing all the house stuff .... when Jakes here he washes dishes and cooks but then I have to rewash some of the dishes.... cataracts, explains it but doesn’t help me....

dryer is still down… Rocky will look at it soon I hope.... They took the stitches out day before yesterday. He keeps telling me the skin is sore.... and I haven’t even asked him for anything.... just when he’s ready to get on the dryer cause I need it.