NoJoMo 18 in Those Public Entries

When was the last time you really lost your temper, and how do you feel about it now?

Last February, when my mortgage company screwed me and my escrow by paying out two different hazard insurance policies, one of which I actually called them myself, several months prior, to tell them had been canceled, to the tune of almost $4400. To make a long story short, my escrow ended up overdrawn, and instead of owning up to their mistake and paying me back, my mortgage company’s employees (1) spent two hours gaslighting me about how much had been spent from my escrow, (2) not listening when I repeatedly offered to send them a screenshot of my escrow analysis page on their site, (3) lied about how the money had been spent (they claimed property taxes, when the page itself said hazard insurance), and (4) forced me to take out a mini-loan through them, add it to my monthly payment, and pay it back over five years.

As to how I feel about it? Good. Really good. I would not do a single thing differently. I stood up for myself, and I made it known to this company that they could not take advantage of me, that I was going to look into every single statement and hold their feet to the fire when needed. (Also, when I got my tax return this year, I put $1500 into my escrow, entirely so they couldn’t screw it again. And they haven’t, even with my property taxes going up a bit this year.)

I understand and believe that losing one’s temper is often a loss of control, and it’s often done abusively. But I also think that there are situations where losing one’s temper is not only entirely justified, but the logical and reasonable thing to do. As a poster on Tumblr’s therapist once put it, “your anger is the part of you that knows you deserve to be treated well,” and when someone treats you poorly, you have every right to be angry.

Put it this way: Does anyone really think that the woman who, after years of being beaten up by her husband, snaps and stabs him during a fight, is “unreasonable”? I mean, if you’re an incel or Nick Fuentes, yes; but the rest of us, no. We recognize that this woman is just done dealing with the abuse. We’re on her side. She doesn’t deserve to have some asshole beating her up all the time, and he fucked around and found out (and if you beg to differ, shut the fuck up).

Also, let’s consider than “angry” is often used as a way to demean and disempower women, specifically. I got a lot of this when I was younger: “You’re so angry! Why are you so angry? What do you have to be angry about?!” To which my only response, then and now, is, “//gestures wildly at everything//” My attitude has definitely become more accepted and welcomed since 2016, but in my opinion, women have, and always have had, a lot to be angry about. As the saying goes, “Men should be glad women want equality and not revenge.”