Update on dad in Adventures in paradise

So I definitely have to stay until Friday at my parents place.  I don't want to, but I will.  I promised my mum I'd be here for her, so that's what I'm doing.  My mum's a mess, and she hates being in this big house by herself.  She told me she spends as long as she can in the garden outside before having to come inside the house.  

My dad is back in the private hospital in Toowoomba.  I thought he was in the respite home here in Pittsworth, but nope, he's been there since Wednesday, again.  It was good to see him again, but he doesn't look well.  He's extremely drowsy, and was falling asleep every 5 minutes whilst I was there, which was around six hours in total ergh.  I got a lift up with my older brother, and my sister turned up a little while later.  A distant aunt turned up as well, who I hadn't seen since my late grandma's funeral.  She was a lot nicer to me yesterday than she was at the funeral, but I guess everyone was having all sorts of feelings that day and there were a lot more people for her to catch up with.

My dad's sodium levels are low.  To me, all signs were pointing to post-Covid symptoms.  I mean, I had depleted sodium the first time I had Covid and I was extremely drowsy after the second time I had it, but who knows in my dad's case.  I doubt it would have helped.  At least that didn't kill him.  But it was a bit strange seeing my dad fall asleep over and over.  He actually looked like he was dead, with his mouth ajar.  I found myself looking to see if his chest was still rising and falling.

I'm so all over the place emotionally with this, and it's playing havoc with my anxiety.  My body is letting me know, as it does every time I come out here.  I'm trying my best to handle it and I have my meditation tools thankfully.  I've had a free year of that app, and I've sure made use of it.  It's a shame that it runs out at the end of this month.  I should just pay for it (since I like it) but it'll be over $100, which I think is a bit much tbh.  I have other free apps I can use, so I just have to be more clever about my meditating tbh.

My mum is driving in and back to the hospital every single day.  It's about 30 minutes each way.  She goes in to make sure my dad is eating.  The only meal she's not there for is his dinner.  It must be taxing on her.  I grabbed my suitcase bag from my brother's car and moved it to my mum's, and drove back to my parents place with her.  She asked me if I wanted to drive.  I was tempted, but I'm still dealing with my disassociating side-effects, which she didn't understand, and I tried to explain to her, but anyway, she drove.  We got into Pittsworth when she started crying at the wheel.  I tried to calm her down.  I didn't want her to crash the damn car cos she couldn't see the road from her tears.  She gets triggered by the sentimental things - of which there are a lot in this house, that's for sure.  At least the garden is her space and something dad's never been that interested in.  I'm going to have to try and pass some of the coping tools I've learned on to her.  She asked me, "How do I meditate?"  She really has no idea about a lot of things.  We grabbed a roast pork and scalloped potatoes from the shop for dinner and she paid with her phone.  I pointed it out to her, "Look at you, paying with your phone!"  I didn't expect that, given that she's the type of person who will still go down to the post office to pay her bills.

My dad basically can't move at all, other than struggling to lift himself up on the hook above his head in the hospital bed.  He's been awaiting physio for weeks now, given they wouldn't do it whilst he had Covid.  But good news is he's meant to receive his first lot today.  I will check with mum tonight if they turned up or not.  They were talking about another MRI and a lumbar puncture (which my dad hates) but it looks like those are on the backburner for now.  He had a sodium drip overnight, but it only brought up his sodium levels by 1 point.  Better than nothing I suppose.  The doctor said they dropped the steroids too quickly, which resulted in the sodium levels dropping.  I'm still a bit sceptical, but I'm sure the doctor knows best.  Mum says that dad is getting quite frustrated now.  I said, "I'll bet he is!"  Such an indepenent man and he can't move his lower body at all.  Apparently he can't see the Neurologist for another few weeks, as he is away on holidays.  The neurologist will be able to do tests to see if it's his spine preventing him from movement.  That would make sense.  But yeah, I guess no resources available until then.  It was just a bit rough seeing him like that.  Mum and I had to try and manoeuvre a donut-cushion into place underneath him, and he winces in pain when he's moved, but he's not in pain otherwise, which is amazing given that he's apparently only on Panamax for his pain at the moment.  Dad also made a joke whilst on Facetime with one of my older brother's daughters kids, saying "It looks like you ran a lawnmower over your head," (in response to my neice cutting her daughter's hair) so that had everyone laughing.  But it was one of the few things we understood my dad saying, as he is slurring his speech a lot for some reason.  It certainly wasn't like that the last few times I saw him.  The doctor came around and updated us on where he's at, and did mention that dad could have had a series of mini-strokes, which I guess could explain his speech.  A little bit concerning.  If his speech is slurring and he's not eating much, I'm a bit confused what to think.  He was suppose to be dead by now.  Now I'm unsure if he is or he isn't, or if his medication is just expending his life for now.  Mum did tell me that she doesn't think he will come home again.

So that's where I'm at.  Mum (and dad) had me mowing the grass basically as soon as we got back here.  I joked, "I'm on holidays!  You're not putting me to labour!" 

I haven't gone into the hospital again today and have stayed in Pittsworth.  It's just boring here as there's nothing to do.  So I'm writing, and probably will a bit more.  I'm going home on Friday via bus.  I thought there was only one bus a week that leaves from here, but it turns out there are two.  I would have preferred to go home tomorrow afternoon on the Tuesday bus, but now that I've seen how mum is, I realize I don't have much of a choice and have to be a supportive son.  It'll just mean I'll only have one day to myself (at home) before going back to work, which I'm also trying to mentally prepare myself for.  Maybe work can give me some more holidays before Christmas.

Kinda crazy to think I was in Taiwan two days ago.  I'm so proud of myself for getting on that plane.