moment passed in Second 1st

Please see the previous entry before you read this one.

Jake gave me $80 of $150 that would have been earned that he said he’d pay me to take the time off this week. So $70 is being negated by putting gas in my tank. I could do math on how much I’ve paid for in food but I don’t want to. I want it to be considered little gifts but.... I still don’t feel right about it. However, the opportunity to discuss it has passed. Next opportunity will come when I need to go by the bank to put in the cash he gave me so I can pay a bill....

which I’m about to do....I still haven’t sorted out when things need to be paid and on which week n’ the like.... everything is behind a month and we are just doing what we can till Jake pays his part and puts us back in order.

It’s this reason .... if I needed to.... that even if we were no longer romantically involved I would not have nerve to boot him out.... money.... but once I get it all straightened out and feel confident we can do it on our own.... who knows what conversations I’ll have courage for.