2/06/2025 in The Beginning
- Feb. 6, 2025, 10:03 p.m.
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- Public
It has been a while since I’ve written on here. The truth is though, that nothing really exciting has been going on in my life, although I can’t say that’s a bad thing. Hopefully I’ll actually start to write on here more, which is something that I seem to say a lot.
Entering my last semester before I graduate with my B.A. Excited but nervous for the future. I applied a few months back for the M.A. program at my university for Archaeology, but I won’t know if I’ll get accepted until late this month or sometime in March. The wait has been killing me.
However, tonight while listening to music (mostly Beatles, Dylan) and while being drunk, I decided to apply for a modeling agency, only because people (both people I know and strangers) have suggested the idea to me. I don’t really think I’m that attractive but I don’t think I’m terrible either. Self-confidence is a bitch though. The worst that could happen is that the agency denies me and I would be back in the same boat as I’m in now. And besides, I can fake confidence when I need too, so I might as well try. Will I regret it in the morning? Most definitely. Perhaps it’ll work out though.
The only main concern that I have (outside of my looks, which are subjective anyways), I have no experience in acting in any sense. I was never a theater kid (looking back, I wish I got into acting when I was younger, being a lover of movies. Again, however, self-confidence and self-esteem has crippled my life many a times). However, I might as well try.
Don’t know if this entry will even make sense. My apologies. Hope you all are having a wonderful night. Peace be upon you.
Sleepy-Eyed John ⋅ February 06, 2025
Acting is fun but I wish I'd been a theatre kid too.
Philomath Sleepy-Eyed John ⋅ February 06, 2025
When I was younger (not that I'm even old lol), I wish I had done more in high school. Even if it meant just to have some sort of experience, or feeling for something. However, I do believe that it's never too late to try something, not too late until you're dead anyways.
However, how have you been, friend? Good, I hope?
Sleepy-Eyed John Philomath ⋅ February 06, 2025 (edited February 06, 2025)
Edited
Ya. I understand that. I feel the same. I didn't do much, and I feel I lost a vital opportunity to build skills, confidence, and connections.
You get older, you get caught up with work and kids and regrets, most people do it seems anyway, bad relationships, etc, so I think a lot of people don't do as much as they can. And around 60 that's when health issues for a lot of people, men earlier than women, start cropping up.
I'm okay. Keeping busy. Read like 8 books so far this year. :)
Philomath Sleepy-Eyed John ⋅ February 06, 2025
I'm trying to kick the can of health issues down the road for as long as I possible can, because you are right: men get fucked first.
What have you been reading? I might wanna take a look.
Sleepy-Eyed John Philomath ⋅ February 06, 2025
It's good to take care of your health. Women definitely have us beat in terms of taking care of their health.
I'm going to finish graphic novels series Scalped.
Reading People, by Anne or Army Bergot was good, The Dangerous Passion by David Buss was okay, One Small Step Can Change Your Life: The Kaizen Way was pretty good, it's not all about me by Robin Dreeke was good but not a lot new to me, it's short though, and Mad Blood Stirring by Daemeon Fairless was pretty great, good writing too.
Philomath Sleepy-Eyed John ⋅ February 06, 2025
I'll have to look into those more in-depth tomorrow. I've been wanting to get back into reading, but school has been taking up a lot of my time. Might say "fuck it" and order some of those tomorrow.
Sleepy-Eyed John Philomath ⋅ February 06, 2025
If you're going to order any, I'd say Mad Blood Stirring is the most impactful. The Dangerous Passion might be most useful for sexual politics. Robin Dreeke for how to get people talking, reading people for understanding personality tests (it's actually not bad), and one small step if you need to motivate yourself or overcome roadblocks in your thinking. Depends what you're looking for. If you give me some indication of what you want4 to accomplish or need I might be able to recommend somethinhg better.
Sleepy-Eyed John Philomath ⋅ February 06, 2025
Do you have The Story Graph? I could add you as a friend. It's like Goodreads, but better (gives AI recommendations, has reading graphs, etc) although GR has more reviews. you can import your Goodreads to it too.