October 18, energy as I age in Scott

Sometimes while grocery shopping, I see children running through the aisles, and I laugh about how much energy they have. I sometimes comment to their parents about it, which opens up some short humorous conversation. I shake my head, remembering that yes I was that way once.

Sometimes I see groups of teenagers, passing my house, yelling, and just full of energy that amazes me. I remind myself that I had such energy once. That I too walk the streets yelling laughing because I was so young. I was so immortal – or so I thought.

I think back on the back breaking work I did in the factory for so many years. How that work got harder and harder as I aged, and I tried to keep up with the young pups working there. It seems that it was all so much more painful as well When I tried to keep up with them, and I got a few injuries by trying to go as fast as the others. My boss said off and telling me to slow down and not risk getting hurt. Though it was just four years ago I am in wonder of that mid 60s man that got up at 5:30 every day to work at seven. If you do that for a few decades, it gets to be easy.

I remember laughing about my father needing to take naps as he got older. I could never imagine myself being that way so tired all the time. Shortly, after being forced in retirement, I realized what a luxury it was to eat breakfast then go for a nap. Being awake for a couple hours was very tiring. I laugh at myself about it. In some ways I’ve become like my father was. When I was working, it was such a luxury to take a day off during the week and just rest.Lay in the lounger and not give a shit about a damn thing.

At times, I am alarmed at how tired I can feel. How I go to bed earlier now than I did when I was working. I been reading about what it’s like to be a senior citizen because my mind rejects it inside. I feel very young. I am too young to be old. But my body betrays me. I do some errands around the house and say to my birds. Well guys it’s time for a nap. I put in a good workday of doing a few little things.

I admire people that continue to work late in life, but I think it’s the purpose they have that keeps them going. Without feeling a purpose in life it’s easy to feel tired and adrift. I resist it. I push myself to be alert and not want to be useless all day to have some discipline and move my body. That’s the problem with those old bastards they stop moving and stop moving if they stop moving.