Safe to ramble in A transparent lockbox

  • Sept. 20, 2024, 10:50 p.m.
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  • Public

I find talking on here by myself, to myself, is the easiest way to convey my thoughts. I know that it is considered healthiest to talk to friends, family, trusted people, etc about your thoughts and problems, but it truly depends on who you surround yourself with. I have people in my life who are relatively pleasant, but you cannot tell them anything of vulnerability. My mother always just starts comparing your struggles to others and says “could always have it worse,” but also doesn’t like when you compare your achievements to others because you shouldn’t get too big of a head. Then there’s a friend I have who I recently tried to talk to about my thought process, insecurities, and coping mechanisms, and he was projecting a lot when he tried to respond. He encountered a lot of trauma and struggle in his life, and when I talked about the things I felt bad about and how I felt better about it, he completely misinterpreted and misunderstood what I was trying to convey. There was just so much I was trying to say, and that it is okay but I just need to vent about it, and he was going on entire rants and telling me what I was doing wrong in my coping and all that. I think his intentions were good, but at that moment I just thought “fuck, I’m not spilling my soul to him again anytime soon.” He would say something as an assumption about my feelings or thoughts, and I would say “Well no, really, I’m actually quite comfortable with that,” and he would just ignore my correction or say I was doing self-validation. I just felt like he wasn’t listening to any of what I was saying and was instead filling in the blanks with his thoughts and assumptions, even when I disputed them. At that moment it was obvious he wanted to be less of a friend and perceived more as someone who has experienced a lot and wants to share wisdom.
On here, no one can interrupt me, at least not till after I’ve expressed my full thoughts. Most people don’t care much to read my rambling streams of consciousness. And I’ve noticed when people do, they don’t really make assumptions in the comments, but rather inquire further or convey how they relate to my experience. I would say this site harbours a very contemplative collection of people. And the beauty is that we can each find something we relate to amongst each other without being overbearing or invasive. It brings me peace.


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