It's Sunday Morning in Hello

And I want a effin’ Chick-fil-A. But noooo they gotta be all down with Christ n shit.

I’ve been up all night, still playing Assassin’s Creed Valhalla.

Friday my aunt came down so I drove her and mom around. Ichiban for lunch and it was a bit disappointing. That chef had to be new. When spinning the utensils around he dropped them a few times. No big deal however the carrots and broccoli weren’t cooked all the way and some of my fried rice was hard.

After that I drove them to a few thrift stores and Walmart. We came back home after all was said and done. My aunt ending up eating her leftover’s from Ichiban here cause her daughter (my cousin) and grandson (cousin’s kid) are assholes. Family bullshit, no worries.

Today…yesterday…Saturday, I got up and made mom breakfast as she asked. It was her 70th birthday and we made a day of it. Went to the artist market at the Lowe Mill and she bought herself a few items. I got a wooden…plaque(?)…that reads Thou May Ingest A Satchel Of Richards. Every time I read it I hear Archer in my head yelling, “Go eat a bag of dicks, Ceril!”

Had dinner at Supper Heroes because we’ve BOTH been talking about going there. It’s not TOO far but I hate getting on that part of the highway. Turns into a clusterfuck real easy. Of course we had to get an order of fried pickles. I could have made a meal of that alone. I had the Huntsvillain. It’s a burger with pepper jack, fried jalapenos (and I wonder why I’m over weight) and this killer sweet spicy jelly. She got…ya know I don’t know. I wanna say it was a patty melt but I forget what they call it.

Anyways, she had a lot of fun and is very thankful for me chauffeuring. However I underestimated how much walking we’d do on uneven ground so I wore my flip flops. My knees and thighs are worn. It’s my fault for picking up the recliner the other day by myself, twice, when moving it. I’m not as young as I once was and need to remember to do a stretch or two before doing something strenuous.

(On to more serious matters.)

It’s not depression or anxiety. When my six months of sobriety came up I wasn’t excited. I felt meh about the whole thing like I didn’t really care. It’s hard to put into words. When my thinking gets like that the alcoholism starts chipping away at my resolve. Over the next few days I ended up listening to a bunch of Steve O’s Wild Ride podcasts on YouTube. It helped clear my head just listening to he and his guests stories about they’re struggle with addiction. It…you learn something. At least I know I did.

Part of what hit me, I guess, is I was playing a certain one for mom and she was not interested/elsewhere. When I asked her about it it was chalked up to not relating. I get that, I do. But I’m sharing something a bit personal that I think is important to me and it feels like it was completely written off which brought me down.

🤷‍♂️