4st in A Nice Dream On Elm Street

At no point in my life have I been ‘just going through the motions’ more than now.
Should’ve listened to Glutton and went home when we had the chance.
The sun still shines and birds still chirp, I even still manage a paycheck, but I am largely white noise, a snowy static screen, and not much else.
It’s ok, it’s not all bad all the time, just most the time, all the time. I have that neat newfangled X&M radio I listen to all my heyday tunes on, oh boy do I get the ol’ finger waggin’ when I’m doing my macarena’s and dips.
My joy is a 3 minute song from 30 years ago and a cigarette. Dr. Denis Leary once said ‘Happiness is small increments. It’s an orgasm, it’s a chocolate chip cookie, it’s a cigarette-, you cum, you eat the cookie, you smoke the butt, END OF STORY!’
I don’t think I need anymore orgasms..I mean anymore than the usual couple a day.
That’s probably why I’ve never really been happy, all those times I got a cheap rush of endorphins or whatever, by playing a little ‘hows ya fawtha?’
What was I supposed to do, hm? Just up and waltz on down the NORMAL emporium? Hm???
Being raised by boomers was hell, those people will do ANYTHING to avoid responsibility for fucking you up.
Anyway, I can’t believe the year is almost over. Yes, 3 months to go is ‘almost over’.
Be good.