A weekly ritual that saves me from the abyss of loneliness in Daydreaming on the Porch

  • Sept. 26, 2024, 3:09 a.m.
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  • Public

Sunday is my one social outing of the week. Religiously, I head out to visit my brother and his lady friend at the beach. I’ve been doing this for three years. He is a great cook and prepares excellent meals, sometimes favorite New Orleans dishes we both enjoyed when we were growing up, such as red beans and rice with Andouie sausage or creole gumbo with shrimp, chicken and sausage over rice. These particular meals always bring back a lot of good New Orleans memories, especially of the fantastic food culture in that fabled city on the Mississippi.

I walk in the door to be raucously greeted by their two dogs, Willie Nelson and Etta James. The clamor is intense as both compete for my attention and they chase me around the sofa barking and careening all over the place. They are so much fun, and I’ve come to love them dearly, not having any pets of my own. I usually have flowers for Peggy and various snacks from Costco they so share with them. Sometimes I stop at The Goodwill Thrift Store, which is on the way, and perhaps find something for them.

Then I go out for a short walk on the beach, or I might sit out overlooking the ocean in the beach chair I always have in the trunk my car. The sounds of the waves and seagulls always have a calming influence on me.

Then I go inside and head to the dock extending out from my brother’s back yard, and sit awhile enjoying taking photos of the spectacular sunsets over a wide expanse of salt marsh and tidal rivers. A cool breeze make this experience like Heaven on earth as the sun dips below the horizon, and the clouds slowly light up in dazzling and ever-changing shades of yellow, pink, red and purple. I try to always say a brief prayer of gratitude to God for proving this natural and spiritual gift of wonder and awe.

Coming back into the house, it’s time for a great meal, by far the best thing I’ve had to eat all week. More playing with the dogs afterward, then settling into a comfortable chair to relax and recoup after eating too much for supper. All three of us either talk about the news and politics, or else sit fiddling with our phones. Also there’s never a dull moment because the dogs need attention and Willy is still a big puppy less than a year old.

I leave for home right about 10 pm, as I realize most people do not stay up all night as I do. They are winding down for the night, while I am just getting started. I’ll be up at least til 5 am working on various photography and writing projects and reading or watching YouTubes. These late, late nights started in earnest after I retired and was caregiving for my mother intensively. But I’ve always basically been a night owl.

Without these weekly beach outings (and I really should go more often to walk or sit out on the beach), I would basically have no social outlet. This is entirely of my one volition. I really don’t usually care to be around people because it’s mostly superficial. When I was much younger I had some close friends and became involved in some causes or activities I believed in. Now that’s all in the past. No friends here, just family thankfully — my brother and his lady friend, who I think the world of and greatly enjoy seeing each Sunday.

So that’s it. Once again it’s family that provide the safe harbor, the retreat from loneliness when that builds up over a week. I return home to my cozy, book-filled apartment, rejuvenated and ready for the week ahead.


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