Jays Happiness in Short Thoughts

You know Jay, sometimes seeing you happy with her made me a bit jealous. Sometimes a tad bitter. But it did something more for me. It reminded me that you were okay. Even though I treated you badly. I didn’t ruin you. You are strong. And after all I did to you, and everything you did to me. You are still a good man. At least, that’s what I like to think. I hope I am right. I’ll probably never know how you came out in the end. But it’s nice to see I didn’t destroy you. That’s all. I’d give almost anything for your friendship back, but that’s your decision to make. Not mine. Anyway, I’m a mess right now. I don’t think I’d want you to see me like this. But who do I have to look good for anyway? I’d do it for myself… but it’s so much stress. I just need to figure out a better reason. A plan. A motivation that can overcome this sadness. Eventually I will right? Don’t I always find a reason? I think you taught me that. So I didn’t forget. I’m still looking for a reason.