Nerves of Steel in Current Events

They’re just thoughts. They’re just thoughts. They’re just thoughts. It is getting harder to remind myself. Progress isn’t linear. There are always setbacks. Our HR explained this during our orientation. Of course, she was referring to our participants. I don’t have to worry about this background check debacle but my mind is doing it anyway. My nerves are shot. I constantly feel like I am going to shit myself. This too shall pass. This too shall pass. This too shall pass.

The brain is a problem-solver. My ADHD is putting it to work. The ADHD brain is 20 steps ahead which is why we get overwhelmed and shut down. I’ve created 20 potential problems to stress about. From traffic to getting fired. I keep suppressing them but they have mass. Those ideas are eating away at my stomach like battery acid.

The gym is my stress management but I don’t have time for it. I think I concluded that I will indeed switch gyms. The one down the street costs $50 more than the one I go to. I need the time-saving. My coordinator told me about the $50 they throw at me every month toward my phone bill. I’ll use that for my new gym membership.

I lowkey miss my roommate’s boxing gym fixation. She has only gone once she got back from BC. She is right behind me when I get home. When I get my background checks, finally, I will switch to 11:30-7:30 Tuesday to Saturday. I’ll have the morning to myself. My roommate will have Saturday all to herself and I will have Monday all to myself. This will work perfectly as it did when she used to work Tuesday - Saturday.

Anyway, I only had a little bit of time to write this morning. The first day was the orientation. Yesterday was a long day of reading. Today is going to be the same. Diego is in today so maybe we will do more than just read, I hope. Maybe by some freak miracle, my background check will come in and not take 10 business days… ha