Waiting for Meds to Do Their Job in Still Listening to Spirit

Yep, I talked to Lynne again on the phone yesterday and I just need to keep taking the new anti-depressants and give it another week, or two, or a month.

The muscle relaxers for the back spasm....well, they didn’t work. Not at all. Plus, I was taking it at night and Lynne says this is what is making me dizzy and have a ‘head rush’ all morning long.

I stand up and move a bit, head feels like it is being squeezed like when the blood pressure cuff gets real tight before they release the air. I have to sit down or fall down. I tried a couple of times to just keep moving and on my feet and it only got worse.

Plus when that happens, my right arm feels like it goes numb and tingles. So, I have not taken any more of them.

As to my muscle spasms…VERY painful, “Interesting” said Lynne when she poked me the other day… Last night I made up my mind that I wasn’t having any. NONE, I had had enough. (I did this with migraines years ago and haven’t had one in probably 25 years).

Each time I felt pain creeping up o me, I would concentrate very hard to make it go away. I denied its existence, I kept telling myself that I was doing this to me and I could get rid of it.

The pains usually start around 9pm and sometimes it is 4am before I can get to sleep. So I was encouraged when I passed the midnight hour with no pain. I was able to call this a victory and sleep.

I KNEW, absolutely, that this was something I was doing to myself. Why? Who cares. I identified the culprit and made myself not have the pain.

This takes a lot of energy, and t’s hard. I imagine meditation is something like what I did, centering myself in place and paying attention to only one thing for hours.

That’s it for now. I am still waiting for something to prod me into taking up some kind of project so my hands can be busy and my depression lift further and away.

Blessed be!