Butterflies Fly Away in Current Events

I met with my first youth yesterday. Andy had Diego and I join in on his one-on-one. We ordered a pizza, made medicine bags, watched a short movie, and then played Fortnite for most of the afternoon. I get paid to do this?! The little guy was so funny. There were moments when I thought he was speaking in tongue but… it was slang. Also, I think I might download Fortnite.

Prior to that, Andy took Diego and I on some errands so that we could meet the other teams at our other locations. We have 5 locations. The organization is building a new building, a green space, the first of its kind in an Urban setting for my city, and we are all going to be moving in together come spring. Well, just 3 of us. The bulk of us.

I had a glass of wine when I got home. All my nerves went away the moment Andy explained that I am allowed to be with the participants, just not one-on-one until my Abuse Registry comes in. That is the one that will be coming any day now.

I made it a point to run my errands late and stay up because I am trying to restructure my sleep pattern. I need to sleep in. I failed and woke up before my alarm. I have made some progress, at least. I was getting up at 4:15 AM for my last job. Sleeping in was 4:30 AM. 5:30 tops. I’m at 6ish. I crash so hard at 2 PM. That is when my nap time would be. Come to think of it, I’m so dumb. I had a moment when I wanted coffee but denied myself it because it was too late in the day. That only mattered because I was getting up at 4:15.

Anyway, I am so relieved that I am not missing out on any activities with the program. I believe we are meeting an elder today. Next Saturday we are baking banic in the ground. First thing on Tuesday morning, I was sitting at my desk, and Wayne, the coordinator of the program that teaches the culture back to the community, started playing on his rattle and sang an ancestral song to start his day. It was such a beautiful way to start the day.

I am still reading the material Andy gave me. It is heavy stuff. I am a hypercritical son of a bitch, I know it and I own it. This is opening my mind up a bit. I am very aware that the solution to a lot of issues is simple, but not easy. I’m becoming more aware of how not easy it is. I can’t wrap my head around the level of damage that was down to my people. We complain about them a lot, though people from India are taking all the heat in Canada right now. You need to take care of your own. Was the rhetoric a man said when he destroyed a mural of a teenage girl that people were protesting on behalf of. The mural was painted on the ground, he pulled up in his truck with dirt and buried it. My organization is trying to do exactly that. My program is trying to prevent these young boys from growing up to become one of those negative statistics. We are on the front lines. The revolution cannot be externalized, it has to be internalized. I always say.

Anyways, today is program day for everybody. We are all starting late and working late because every program has a big program planned. I have time for the gym finally. Tomorrow I will sign up for the free 3-day pass for the one down the street. It was too rich for my blood so I go a little bit further. I want to switch but I don’t want to sign up and hate it there. I almost switched to the one beside my old work but they didn’t have as many machines and benches, etc. Mostly just cardio. The gym I am aiming for better not be the same thing. It offers a lot more so it better have a lot more. My current one is perfect but it feels so dreadful now that I decided I want a closer one. It is actually within walking distance.

On with my day then. Oh! I witnessed a teenage girl get hit by a car yesterday on my way to work. She was okay. We had heavy fog, for starters. She was crossing the street, she had the right of way. The SUV was turning and didn’t see her, I guess she was in the blind spot. The car knocked her over, I was worried for a second that it wasn’t going to stop. It did. They exchanged information, etc. But damn, the girl had her headphones on. No situational awareness whatsoever. Could happen to anyone, so I am trying not to judge. I was lowkey mad at the girl for being oblivious. I think she knows better now.