Heartbreaker in Current Events

It was the face crack of the century, at work. When everybody learned that I was leaving. They really do love me there. My supervisor is looking forward to being rid of me. Or so I think. At yesterday’s meeting, she was telling the team to be more like me. That didn’t make sense to them until I got to break it to them that I was leaving. I wasn’t in yesterday. She had a slideshow, a pile of papers, showing everybody what they needed to start doing. She has a weird love language. At least I know that I don’t have to feel like I didn’t do enough over there.

Who is going to protect us? Claudia asked. My supervisor isn’t waiting until I leave to be a terrorist again. Claudia came to me mortified. Our fearful leader just shit all over her like old times, it would seem. I guess they will all have to grow a pair. I think they will.

It was an emotionally draining day. I’m not kidding, everybody was devastated. IRL I am a big personality. I developed a relationship with everybody there. Yesterday, my old team learned that I was leaving first. It was a nice visit with them. It is really starting to sink in that I am leaving and starting a new chapter. A new workforce altogether. Something rewarding. The kids I am going to work with are going to love me as well. I’m looking forward to it, though I am nervous but that is okay. I haven’t looked over the offer letter yet. I suppose a piece of me is trying to cleave onto the past. I don’t adapt to change very well. I’ll look at it right after this entry. Which is when my mushroom coffee should kick in. I’ve been bad for taking naps again. That will change. Everything is going to change.

I was only scheduled today for a full day and I’m not back until Friday so I don’t feel that bad about leaving them. I was only scheduled 1 shift last week. There was a stat day in there and then I picked up one. I start full-time next week. Finally! Some structure. A paycheck I can count on. One that is a lot bigger than any I’ve had before. I still can’t wrap my head around this kind of money. It’s not even a lot to most people but… it’s more than I need. In 2.5 months I’ll have my debts paid off. Not including my car. Then I can save Save SAVE… and invest. I really have to find a financial advisor but I can’t get ahead of myself, in my mind. My ADHD will paralyze my consciousness. I’m feeling very impulsive which is why I am feeling very tired. I am holding it all back. My patience is as thin as my new hairline.

Anyway, my coffee is done. I feel like watching something that will make me cry. Billy Elliot is my go to but that isn’t streaming anywhere for free. I’ll try Moana. That grandma scene gets me every time. Shit… I’m getting feels.