On The Right Track in Current Events

I woke up beside myself. I’m excited about all the opportunities that open up with this new job. It’s a lot of money to me. Even if it was just minimum wage, it is full-time. I have not had that for years. Then there is the job itself. It is far more rewarding. It is a non-profit that is trying to create social change. We hear me complain about the losers in the world and now I get to put my money where my mouth is and try to help fix the problem. I’ll be working with at-risk youth, ages 12 and under. Yatta yatta.

My therapist needs me to have goals so that we can measure my progress, so to speak. We chose my podcast. I am failing miserably. Well, it’s not that bad. I am at least trying to organize my thoughts. I’m going to work on it today but on paper. It had been hard to connect to anything while in wait mode for this job opportunity. Is that a valid excuse? No. I invested all of my energy into this job opportunity. This is why I bought my car.

You have very strong metacognition. A therapist told me once. He was in awe of it. You have the ability to flip your entire mind around on a dime. You just need the right epiphany. He explained. He then told me that I was going to be fine. He never returned any of my calls after that. He was right in the end. Three weeks after that session I did exactly that. This was years and years ago. You ain’t lifting shit! Someone told me not that long ago. A chubster, fuck them I don’t care but I have never been so motivated at the gym in my life. I need to calm down though, I need rest days.

I keep thinking about that young man who fixed my windshield yesterday. He was crazy lean. Leaner than me but his muscles were insane. Well, not insnae but he had very lean muscle. Total muscle twink. Oh, he was pretty to look at. Malnourished-looking ginger hippie with long hair and patchouli pits. First of all, that seems to be a piece of cake for everyone not tall. Gaining muscle that is. Fitness influencers are all over my FYP and the more jacked they are, the shorter they are. I feel like I’m going crazy with my lack of results. I keep doing the same things expecting different results. I mean, I do have results. With my ADHD, I need novelty. I have been thinking about switching gyms. Now I can afford to do just that. I will look into it today. I know which one I have my eye on. I have a lot to review today. I’m looking forward to it.

My mother is nervous about me making this kind of money. She is my mother, she is allowed to worry and voice her concerns and give me unsolicited advice even if it hurts to hear it. I’ve had enough financially induced nervous breakdowns in my twenties. She had to help put me back together. It’s mostly her anxiety, I can tell. She is worried that I will go crazy with my spending. She doesn’t understand my choices. Everything about me is unorthodox, yes. I bought a car before securing a job. I needed it to secure a job. That was a gamble but it paid off. Once I know what my schedule looks like I am going to get a second job doing Skip The Dishes, casually, to help pay off my car faster. She didn’t understand what I was talking about when I said that I was going to get a financial advisor and invest in whole life insurance. The big idea is to have that so that I can borrow from it and be my own bank in the future. With the FA, I am aiming to start investing and I also want to save up for a house. The idea there is to buy a house and rent out the rooms to other students when the time comes for me to pursue post-secondary. This way I can be fully subsidized and be a full-time student. I can either sell that house after that or use it as a passive income.

Of course, my mind is mostly thinking about all of the things I want to purchase. I’m a Taurus rising, I want to buy nice things. I’ve already splurged, however. Now I gotta pay it all off. I racked up some debt but it’s not overwhelming. Especially since I will have it paid off by Christmas with my new wage. 3 months tops if I play my cards right. I get two weeks of paid holiday over Christmas. I do have to work two of those days though because I am on probation. Just making hampers and handing them out. I also get a big bonus as well. I can fly out and visit my brother. I can fly him here with his boys also. I’m getting ahead of myself.

Jesus Christ, I’m ready to just chuck my roommate out of the window. Leave for work already!! I want to go to my mind palace already.